


famous last words

by dryadfiona



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, Multi, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dryadfiona/pseuds/dryadfiona
Summary: Six of them make it off the mountain. It's harder to know where they stand with each other now.
Relationships: Ashley Brown/Emily Davis, Ashley Brown/Emily Davis/Sam Giddings/Jessica Riley, Ashley Brown/Jessica Riley, Ashley Brown/Sam Giddings, Emily Davis/Jessica Riley (Until Dawn), Emily Davis/Sam Giddings, Sam Giddings/Jessica Riley
Comments: 138
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i try not to use the name of the monsters in this fic, as they're part of a closed religion and i don't want to be disrespectful! i'd appreciate it if this was true in the comments, too, but mostly this is here for an explanation of why i don't use their name. i also am not sure how many chapters there's gonna be, but probably around 5!

Sam's smile feels wrong. A little meaner than it usually is, a lot sharper. She can't help it--they're not _listening,_ and they're going to go into the mines and be totally unprepared because of it. She wonders, idly, which of the two looking at her are going to die. The ranger looks a little more interested, like maybe that even if he thinks she's crazy or traumatized or whatever, there's something to it--he stands a chance. If he listens to what she says about fire and daylight, he stands a chance.

The cop? Probably not. If he goes to the mines, which she doubts--why would they do their goddamn jobs--he's going to get his head ripped off. Like Chris, or Josh, if Mike was telling the truth.

"Can I go see my friends now?" she asks after a beat of silence. The cop's looking at her like she's a suspect, which is technically fair, as she did blow up the lodge and openly admit to doing so, but _fuck_.

She wonders if Mike is getting the same scrutiny. He'd had as much of a hand in blowing the place up as she did.

"Look, officer, they're letting them meet up again. Um, Ms. Riley kept asking where Mr. Munroe was. They're not suspects."

"You told me someone called you and said there was a psycho up there."

"That was Josh," she interjects. "And that wasn't the _problem_. That's not the reason Chris is dead."

"Are you a witness, Ms. Giddings?" the cop asks, and part of her wants to punch the smug look off his face. "Which of your friends killed--"

"None of them! Go check the mines, you'll see."

The cop scoffs, but the ranger steps away from the door, letting her pass. She gets up fast enough that she hits her knee on the top of the table, letting out a little hiss of pain.

"Are you--"

"I'm fine," Sam says, trying not to slam the door on her way out. She can hear people talking somewhere to her left, and turns to find them.

Jess and Mike are sitting in a corner by themselves, talking. They're holding hands, leaning into each other. It's cute, Sam guesses. Emily and Matt are in the middle of the room, talking more than Sam thinks she's seen in the entire past history of their relationship. Both of them have huge, wide smiles on their face--but they look more like friends who haven't seen each other in months than a couple. Ashley's sitting by herself, staring at both pairs with something Sam thinks is jealousy.

"Sam!" Emily says, turning towards her. Her smile doesn't dim at all, which is a surprise. "Are you okay?"

"You look freezing," Jess says, which is wild considering the frostbite on _her_ face. 

"I mean, I probably have hypothermia, but medics are on the way, so." Sam doesn't like everyone's attention on her, so she asks Ashley, "You alright? Seem a little quiet."

"She saw Chris die," Mike says, protective. "Let her process."

"I'm fine," Ashley says, just like Sam did. It's bullshit, just like when Sam said it. She really doesn't feel like pressing, though, what with Emily's venomous glare at Ashley, Jessica's stepping in front of Mike as if to protect him from whatever threat she's seeing, Matt's anxious look between all of them.

The silence then is awkward. It feels like after Mike almost shot Emily, but before Ashley confessed what the journal said. Sure, Emily had backhanded her, and Sam can't really _blame_ her, but she'd really respected Ashley for it. For admitting to something that made her look like an asshole (which she was being) to reassure Emily that she'd be okay.

Sam hasn't really been friends with most of these people since last year. Josh, sure, Chris, maybe, but they're both dead, and she owes the people here her life. She'll--try, at least.

* * *

Jess feels like taking the longest shower of her life. She's fucking freezing and feverish at the same time, which is probably due to the whole hypo-whatever Sam said. She doesn't want to leave Mike's side right now, knowing he chased after her, that he _found_ her, that she's alive because of him.

His hands in hers are warm and grounding, and she grips them a little tighter. He winces. "Sorry, did I--?"

"It's fine," he says, and it's only then that she notices the cuts on his hands. 

"What happened?" she asks, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. From Emily's glance from across the room, she's not doing the greatest job.

"I, uh. Got my hand caught in a bear trap."

" _What?_ " 

"Trap for the--it was pretty obvious, in hindsight. I was just curious, thought it might be important."

He's mumbling, like he's _embarrassed,_ she realizes, and suddenly feels very fond of him.

"I'd kiss it better but I think you might need a bit more this time," she says, and his smile isn't quite as genuine as it was when they were on their way to the cabin, but it's the best one she's seen since they met up again.

"Appreciate the thought," he says.

It's awkward, suddenly, and Jess hates it, knows she should be grateful, knows she _is_ , but doesn't know how to respond. How to prove that to him. She wants to make it better, but fuck, she'd been in the mine, she'd been _useless_.

A laugh from the other side of the room turns her head. Sam and Emily are deep in conversation, Matt slinging a friendly arm around Sam's shoulder, and Sam's smile is bright and real. Jess feels a sudden stab of jealousy. Why is it that Sam's okay? 

Of course, Mike told her about Sam--how she'd hit a monster's head right off its body, climbed out of the mines without any gear, hidden from monsters until everyone managed to get out.

Jess wishes she was able to do that. Instead, she'd nearly died and then lay passed out for ages, barely able to walk when Matt found her. She's grateful for Matt, obviously, and happy to be alive, and knows it's over, but she still feels so fucking _weak_.

Emily notices her staring, and Jess expects a glare or a snide comment, but instead, Emily turns away, looking down at her feet. Jess knows that look. It's guilt, something she hasn't seen Emily feel since last year, when Jess tried to comfort her and Emily snapped about the disappearance being her fault, and saw guilt when Jess ran away, because the prank was her idea, but _fuck_ , it wasn't her _fault_ , and she still feels fucking terrible, especially now--

"Hey, Jess?" Emily says. Jess hadn't noticed her approach, having been seconds from a panic attack, but Jess tries to pull up that same jealousy and anger now.

"What?" she asks. It comes out more tired than pissed.

"Can we talk?"

* * *

Jess's brow furrows, and she glances at Mike. Emily isn't looking at him, knows she'll lose it if she does, what with the way cops didn't believe her when she said he pointed a _fucking_ gun at her, with the ranger gently asking about their relationship.

Which. Ugh, reminder of this _super_ great conversation she's about to have.

"Sure?" Jess says, and squeezes Mike's hand before letting go and following Emily to some corner of the room. Emily's not really sure if they're allowed to leave--she was allowed to call her mom, who hadn't even known anything was wrong, and was driving to wherever they were as they spoke. But when she tried to step out for some fresh air, one of the officers had said something about them staying together.

"What's going on, Em?" Jess asks, and Emily tries (and fails) not to feel a little warm about her old nickname. 

"Uh, I need to tell you something. About Mike," she clarifies when Jess' facial expression doesn't change.

"What _about_ Mike?" Jess asks, angry again.

"I'm--not trying to take him from you," Emily says. "Trust me, I want nothing to do with him. This is just something you deserve to know, okay?"

The anger on Jess' face melts away, worringly quick. "What?"

"Are you--okay?" Emily asks. She's never been good at the whole comfort thing, and they haven't really talked in more than a year, so this is--the worst.

"What do I deserve to know?"

"Mike and I, uh. Were flirting, earlier. Before everything happened. I didn't, like, kiss him or anything but it wasn't...friendly?"

Emily stops, waiting for Jess to like, process. Or deny it. Or yell at her, or _anything_. She's just quiet and looks like she's not fully--here.

"Um. I already told Matt. And I don't wanna get in the way of your relationship, but you deserved to know."

"Thanks," Jess says. "I think."

"Sure," Emily says. "I'll, uh--"

"Can we, like, stop?" Jess asks, suddenly. "This whole stupid fight. We nearly died, and I don't wanna let any stupid guy in between us."

"Yeah," Emily says, knowing she's smiling like an idiot from the face Matt makes at her from across the room. Sam gently smacks his shoulder, because she's the best. "Yeah, of course."

Jess makes a move as if to hug her, and stops. Emily doesn't really want to keep being the ice queen, at least not right now, so she steps up and hugs her. Jess takes a second to respond, but squeezes the life out of her a second later.

"Need to breathe here," Emily says.

"Sorry," Jess says.

"I'm teasing, Jess," Emily says. She's glad she had this conversation, both that it's over and that it ended better than she was expecting it to, but Jess seems off. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Jess says, smiling in a way that doesn't reach her eyes.

* * *

"Hey, Ash," Sam says, sitting down next to Ashley. Ashley nods in response. "You okay?"

"I said I'm fine," Ashley says, knowing her voice is flat, not really finding it in her to care. Her eyes are fixed on Emily and Jess' reunion, which would be sweet if Emily hadn't tried to throw her to the wolves. 

"Yeah, so did I," Sam says mildly. "I was lying through my teeth, though."

Ashley smiles a bit before quashing it. "So?"

"So I wanted to make sure you're okay," Sam says. Ashley exhales through her nose. "We don't have to talk about the mountain or Chris or anything--"

"Good," Ashley says. "I don't want to."

"Jeez, Ash," Matt says, walking up. Wisely, he didn't bring Emily with him. Ashley would probably have just turned and walked away, or loudly talked about how she shoved her out of the way, hoping the rangers would take notice. "You good?"

"Yeah," Ashley says, annoyed. "How many times do I have to _say_ that?"

"At least one more," Mike says. Ashley would've killed for this much attention from her friends even a day ago, but now it just feels stifling.

"Then I'm fine, can you fuck _off_?" she says, suddenly loud. Jess and Emily glance at her from across the room, Jess concerned, Emily indifferent.

"Sure, Ash," Sam says, cutting off whatever Mike was about to say. "C'mon, guys."

They leave Ashley to sit by herself. Which was what she wanted. She hates that she feels lonely, all of a sudden. Then Jess sits down by her, and she misses the solitude immediately. But she doesn't say anything.

"What, you're not gonna ask if I'm _fine?_ " Ashley hisses.

"I don't wanna talk at all, actually," Jess says. "Figured if we're next to each other they'll leave us alone."

"Oh," Ashley says, and sits quietly. It's nice.

Jess keeps staring at Mike. She expects to see affection in her eyes, not the calculating look she's got.

She almost wants to ask. She doesn't.

Their arms brush, and neither of them pull away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Mike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE FIGURED OUT HOW MANY CHAPTERS THIS WILL BE. one chapter for each dynamic between each of the characters (including matt and mike, if you can't tell from this one involving mike lmao) and a final chapter with all of them. all the chapters will be in chronological order and you will need to read all of them for the story. they will NOT all be the same length, and i have no idea how long this fic will take to be finished. but! there ya go.  
> also, each chapter will have the other characters and involve their relationships and everything, it just won't be the main focus of that chapter!

Emily's worried about Jess. Part of it's purely physical; she fell a _long_ way, apparently. But it's mostly the look on her face, distant, distracted. Jess is always lively. She's loud when she's angry and a flirty drunk, and when she's happy, she's loud and boisterous about it. She's _never_ seen her so cold. It reminds Emily a little of--well. Not important.

"You okay, Em?" Matt asks, arm back around her shoulder. 

"Yeah," she says. It's not romantic (at least, not on her end, not now), but the presence of someone close to her is--nice. Grounding. Especially with Mike right _fucking_ there. 

He almost shot her. Ashley encouraged him too, and she's pissed about that for _sure_ , but Jesus, he pointed a gun at her head and nearly pulled the trigger. She told the cops, but she doesn't think they believe her. She could push. It'd work, she knows that. She's seen her mom bully plenty of people into getting her what she wants before. Emily wouldn't even have to do it herself; she could just tell her mother and she'd take care of it.

But then Mike walks over to Jess, and she smiles. Actually smiles, even if her eyes are still a little distant.

Emily's never gonna fucking talk to Mike again, but she can keep him out of jail if it means Jess won't look like--whatever that was again. 

Sam's got that same distant look on her face, and Emily's worried, kind of, but it's more normal for her. She's looked like that practically every time all eight of them have been together since last year. All six now.

Emily doesn't know how she feels about everything. Josh is dead, but also he apparently kept them stranded on the stranded on the mountain. Sam's already-pretty-fake smile drops a little when Mike mentions him across the room, and Jess looks concerned, and Ashley's sitting silently next to Jess and Mike, looking over at them with that same distant look.

Shit, maybe she has that same look on her face. Matt's normally pretty shitty at hiding concern, and he looks fine. Weirdly fine.

"Hey," Emily says, aware she sounds a little too harsh, a little too angry. She's not even mad (at Matt), she just--she's in a weird mood.

"Yeah?" Matt asks.

"Are you, like, okay?"

It's not how she wanted to phrase it, but it's what she's got right now, and he doesn't seem to take offense. "Yeah, Em, I'm fine."

"How, though?" she asks. "Like, I'm alive but I'm not fine. I'm not _gonna_ be fine for, uh."

"A long time," Sam says, looking at Emily curiously. She's not ready for Sam asking questions. She always cuts right to the heart of it, and Emily's not sure what that even means for her right now. She definitely doesn't want to find out in front of Mike and Ashley and however many cops are listening in. 

"Yeah," Emily agrees, looking away from her.

"I mean, I'm gonna need therapy," Matt says, and it's not a dumb thing to say, but Emily's so goddamn tired and so on edge and it's so unexpected that she just starts laughing. Full-body laughing, shoulders shaking. Matt does look worried, but he starts laughing, too. Sam looks at them both like they're out of their mind, but she's smiling a little.

"Sleep deprivation," Mike stage-whispers to Jess, and Emily starts to reconsider her "don't get Mike arrested" plan.

"Dick," Matt mutters.

Emily laughs again.

* * *

Mike is a dick, but he is right about one thing: Emily is sleep-deprived as shit. When her mom comes to pick her up, her face frighteningly pale and her hug tighter than she can _ever_ remember it being, she doesn't even last five minutes before completely crashing in the passenger seat. She vaguely remembers her mom waking her up and walking her to her room, tucking her in, before she crashes again. She doesn't even dream. 

She wakes up early, she thinks, until she checks the clock and sees she slept until 5pm the next day, not 5am. In her defense, she'd lost a lot of blood. Her mom asks her about the bite, and she shrugs.

She loves her mom, and her mom loves her, but she doesn't exactly feel up to testing that bond by talking about monsters. (Especially ones that used to be her friends.) Instead, her mom drives her to the doctor, and asks her again if she's okay.

"Fine," she says, looking at her reflection in the car window. She does have that same tired, dead-eyed look as Jess and Sam and Ashley. 

"Good," her mom says, but clearly doesn't believe her.

The doctor says she doesn't have a concussion, but that's she's absurdly beat-up.

"What did that man do?"

"What man?" she asks, sudden, sharp. Last night already feels false, somehow, and she's not about to start doubting herself _this_ early.

"The one with his--head cut off," her mom says, getting quieter as she continues on. 

"He didn't--he saved us, okay?" she says, arms wrapped around herself. "If it weren't for him, I'd be dead."

"Saved you from what, Emily?" her mom asks, and she's tearing up a little. They're not normally this openly emotional.

"The police already told you about everything Josh did," Emily mumbles, a careful non-answer.

"I still can't believe it," her mom says. "I mean, I do, it's just--he seemed like such a nice boy."

Emily scoffs. "Just another fucking creep, I guess."

* * *

Emily's phone had died back down in the mines, and she'd left it to charge at her house. She expects voicemails from her dad (of which there are seventeen), but the menagerie of texts are a surprise.

Most are from Matt, which actually is par for the course with him. He's sweet, always was, even before they were together. That's another conversation she's gonna need to have, actually. Most of his texts are just cute dogs, and she decides that even if it weren't for him being exactly who she needed up on the mountain, she really does care about him.

The last couple of texts are a little worried, _hey i slept awhile too but tell me when you see this? wanna make sure you're okay_ and _since you're not up anyway, thank you for giving me the flare gun. seriously i don't know what i'd have done if it weren't for that_.

She has texts from Sam, too, a few from Jess, one each from Ashley and--wait, fucking Mike? She means to ask Matt what the hell he's talking about, if he _shot_ one of those things, but there's red at the edges of her vision and she's opening his text.

_I really am sorry, Em_

don't you fucking dare

you don't get to call me that

_I probably deserve that_

you deserve to fucking rot in a cell

don't fucking talk to me again. delete my goddamn number

Emily's breathing faster than she has to be, and her knuckles are white where they grip her phone. How funny would it be, actually, if her phone managed to survive everything up on the mountain and the next day (or two days, since she slept for so long) she crushed it with her hands? Part of her wants to. Just to feel something break, maybe. Some sign other than the ache in her shoulder that what happened was actually real. 

Instead, she texts Matt.

matt i feel like i'm crazy

_i know. it doesn't seem real_

if i hadn't gotten bit i'd think i hallucinated the whole thing

don't get me wrong it fucking hurts

_haha_

He sends a dog picture--some tiny, black chihuahua floating in the sky with balloons.

_figured i'd send that before we get into the serious conversation_

or you just wanted me to see the dog

_both can be true!_

okay whatever i feel like i don't know anything and i'm so mad i could tear my fucking hair out

_at me? for the dog?_

no matt, at fucking mike? hello?

_i mean he's a dick but did he do something?_

oh you weren't there

of course you weren't you would have decked him

_what'd he do?_

he was gonna fucking shoot me

_WHAT_

Matt types for a long time, the little bubble continually disappearing before coming back again. It's the way he always texts, and it's oddly soothing, the normalcy of it.

_look i honestly don't know what to say in this situation_

_since it's such a fucking weird one_

_but i'm really sorry that happened to you_

_and i'm here for you_

thanks

She doesn't respond beyond that, but falls back asleep with her phone screen still on. She'll talk to Matt about--whatever they are. Not together, anymore, but she wants him in her life. He more than proved himself on the mountain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: this chapter is about emily and mike  
> me writing a bunch of emily bonding with matt and worrying about jess and also just general emily character study: anyway


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Mike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is also pretty much a sam/jess chapter because this fic originally started as Just them but like? i feel like more people are gonna find this for the femslash than for the character study stuff anyway lmao. hope y'all enjoy!

Sam's tired. Her dad keeps asking her if she's okay, and her mom keeps assuming she's _not_ , and sure, she's right, but fuck, Sam doesn't feel like dealing with it. She'd been as close to independent as someone who still lives at home could possibly be for awhile now, and the return to having to sit down for family meals and her dad expecting them to spend their evenings together and her mom nagging her about her room is--stifling.

She texts her friends a lot. Matt mostly just sends her pictures of dogs and she sends back pictures of her cat, currently sitting on her chest and staring at her. He's blinking a lot, though, so they're good. Sam blinks back for good measure.

Ashley takes ages to respond, but she is still replying, even if the replies are terse. People respond to trauma differently, Sam reminds herself, and keeps texting her. Emily mostly just complains about Mike and her mom, but is nicer than she usually is. Jess texts her a _lot_ , which is actually kind of out of character. They weren't super close, before everything. 

_saaaaaaaaaaaaaam_

yeah?

_i'm bored we should meet up_

you can come over but my parents are Not letting me out of the house

_ew that sucks!! i'll see if mike's free too_

oh i thought it'd be just you?

Jess doesn't reply, and Sam resigns herself to having _two_ people over. A nightmare even before everything. She and Mike had--you know, gone through something--but she has a feeling that the more time she spends with him, the more she'll remember how much of a dick he is.

"Mom?" Sam says, sticking her head out of her room.

"Yes, Samantha?"

Sam winces. "Uh, Jess and maybe Mike are coming over." She has to consciously force herself not to let it raise up into a question at the end. She's an adult, for fuck's sake. She'd be heading back to school if her world hadn't imploded around her a few days ago.

"Oh, that's fine," her mom says. "I'll set another two places."

"No, that's--we'll just hang out in here," Sam says. Her mom doesn't respond, and Sam closes her door again.

"You know, Tom, I think my mom doesn't know how to treat me like an adult," she says to her cat. Tom (short for Tomfoolery, because baby Sam liked big books with weird words) _mrrps_ in response.

Sure enough, Jess knocks on the door with the energy of four people about twenty minutes later. "Sam!" she says, pulling her into a one-armed hug as soon as Sam opens the door. Sam stiffens.

Mike smiles awkwardly at her where he's holding Jess' other hand, as if to say, _She's a lot, but we love her, right?._ Sam makes a face back at him, though she's not sure what she's saying. 

"So what did you guys wanna do?" Sam asks.

"Oh," Jess says. "Uh, honestly, no clue. We don't normally hang out here, you know?"

Sam resists the urge to point out that she's well-aware they don't usually spend time in her house. "Yeah."

"We could just, like, talk?" Mike says.

Sam and Jess both look at him like that's the dumbest thing they've ever heard. Jess is smiling a little, though.

"Yeah, that's fair."

* * *

Mike ends up messing around on Sam's console until he finds a rhythm game she'd gotten for free. He ignores them after that, focusing on it with an intensity Sam saw back up on the mountain.

Jess and Sam end up just sitting in silence, ostensibly watching the screen. Sam's a little distracted by Jess' head on her shoulder, but she doesn't say anything. Jess is straight, and besides, her boyfriend's right there, and Sam's not in the habit of convincing people to cheat.

Mike gets worse and worse at the game until he's practically falling asleep on top of her controller. Sam gently takes it from him, internally lamenting the loss of Jess' warmth against her side, turning her console off.

"Do you want us to go?" Jess asks, whispering so as not to wake up Mike.

"No," Sam says, and is surprised to find that she actually means it. "It's, um--"

"Nice not to be alone?" Jess says with a little smile. Sam nods. "I get it."

"It's also nice to like--be around someone who knows," Sam says. It's not quite what she wanted to say, what she meant to convey, but Jess nods anyway.

They sit in silence for awhile longer, cuddling again. It's not romantic, not really, even if Sam can feel her face warm when Jess' hand brushes the small of her back. It's just comforting, cozy. 

"Sam?" Jess asks.

"Yeah?" Sam says, whispering quietly enough that she can barely hear herself.

Jess doesn't say anything for a second, and Sam's about to repeat herself when Jess says, "What happened was--real, right?"

"Yeah," Sam says. "Yeah, Jess, it was."

Jess sniffles a little, but Sam doesn't feel tears against her shoulder.

* * *

Sam wakes up with Jess curled into her side. She also wakes up with Mike looking down at her.

"You know, you guys could have invited me up," Mike says. "The crick in my neck sucks, dude."

"Shut up," Sam says, resisting the urge to put an arm around Jess, half-possessive, half-protective.

"Sorry," Mike says. "Look, Sam, I just wanna say--I appreciate all you did for me, up on the mountain. I'd be dead if it weren't for you."

"Sure thing," Sam says, because _no problem_ is a lie, and _you're welcome_ seems arrogant.

"I mean, Emily's pissed at me, so it's good to know I still have a friend besides Jess, you know?"

Sam doesn't say anything for a second, weighing the cost of being honest with the way she's so tired of ignoring what she really thinks. "She has a right to be, though."

Mike winces. "Yeah. Ashley told me the bite meant nothing. I'm glad, but still--"

"No," Sam says, a little firmer. Jess shifts against her side, and Sam tries to pull away without waking her. She can't get completely off the bed, but she can sit up, making it a little easier to meet Mike's eyes. "Mike, you pointed a gun at her. You were gonna _kill_ her."

"I didn't," Mike says.

"You _could_ have," Sam says. "I'd be pissed, too."

"I guess that's fair," Mike says, and it's the same responsibility-avoiding bullshit he'd done after the prank. "Just--"

"You know what, Mike?" Sam says. "Get out of my house."

"Jess--"

"I'll take her home," Sam says, and Mike looks so sad. But some part of Sam is so fucking happy to have actually said what she thinks, so she bites back the regret and watches him leave.

"Morning," Jess says a few minutes later.

"Morning," Sam says.

"Sorry for groping you," Jess says, pulling away as soon as she blinks her eyes open. 

"No worries," Sam says.

Jess is pretty cute in the morning, Sam thinks, and resigns herself to another dumbass crush. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Matt.

It's been a week, and Emily still weeks up with her fists clenched. The mountain's still real, even as it increasingly feels like a weird dream. Her obsessive research into the man on the mountain (Jack Fiddler, and his grandfather died there, and it seems like the news are blaming him even though they _told_ him about Josh), and the monsters (they're real, and you shouldn't say their name, or something, and Emily's taken to eating more than she needs, just in case), and Josh (his doctor looks absolutely stricken when she shows up at his doorstep, and her mom's quiet anger is nothing compared to the way Emily absolutely _explodes_ at the man).

i don't think they should let complete morons into med school!

_so the doctor visit went bad, huh?_

yeah, matt, the doctor visit went bad.

Emily texts Matt more than when they were together. Technically, they still are, but their tentative, awkward flirting has completely stopped, and Emily's a little relieved. It's not that she doesn't like Matt, just--they don't work together. Not like that.

_should i come over with ice cream or drive you out to box?_

you know i work out my anger through shopping, right?

_my wallet can't take it!_

i'll treat you?

_sold, be over in twenty_

_ah shit my grandma took the car out actually, sorry :(_

no worries, we'll hang out later

"I should get the man's license taken away," her mom rages in the driver's seat. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, Mom," Emily says on rote. She's tired, honestly, and when she closes her eyes, Jack Fiddler's mugshot is there. Or the horrifyingly accurate drawing she found of the thing that nearly killed her. Or the picture they use of Josh, where he's smiling with his sisters, as if Emily needed to feel _more_ guilty about that. Plus, now that guilt is all mixed up with the fear and the anger and the confusion.

It sucks, basically, and if she hadn't _just_ come out of a confrontation with a shitty psychiatrist, she might have considered asking A.J. Hill for therapists in the area.

"Who are you texting?" her mom asks.

"Matt," Emily says.

"Oh, is he alright?"

"Yeah, we were gonna hang out but his grandma took the car," Emily says, still looking at her phone. Sam's texted her streaks on Snapchat a selfie, and it's--a weird reminder of how effortlessly pretty she is. Emily wishes she could look that nice in a tank top and old flannel.

"I can drive you over," her mom says, and it's the easiest job Emily's had of convincing her mom to drive her to Matt's since they started dating.

"Cool. I'm gonna break up with him," Emily says, mostly to see the way her mom's face contorts, as if she's not sure whether to be worried or relieved or indifferent.

"Oh," her mom says.

"We're chill," Emily says. "We just--don't work. I mean, if I'm not into him after he saved my life, I'm not gonna be, right?"

"Uh," her mom says. "I guess?"

"Guess there's not a lot of other examples to look at," Emily says. "Considering."

* * *

Matt smiles when he opens the door to find her there. "Em! I didn't think we were hanging out today."

"Yeah, well, my mom offered me a ride," Emily says. "If you're cool with it."

"Yeah, course, you know my grandma loves you," Matt says. "Not much to do, but--"

"That's fine," Emily says, who's honestly too exhausted to do much more than sit on a couch anyway. "What was that show you were always trying to get me to watch?"

Matt lights up. The show's some sitcom about heaven and what if someone got in by mistake, which should make Emily's skin crawl and her heart beat a little too fast, but it's too fun and too interesting and too good for Emily to get caught up in her own head. There's a major plot twist which Matt laughs uproariously at her for not getting, and Matt's grandma smiles at Emily for hitting him on the shoulder when he does.

"He did the same to me," his grandma says.

"Jerk," Emily says, but she's smiling.

Matt's mom orders in a pizza with extra cheese and all the toppings, and Emily eats four slices. 

"You eat today?" Matt asks.

"Don't like being hungry," Emily says, and Matt nods, face suddenly serious. 

"No one does!" his grandma says, loud enough to shake the weird mood from the room. Emily smiles at her.

"You know, I thought staying with my grandma while my parents were out of town would be weird," Matt says. "But it's just as nice as it was when I was a kid."

"Pizza for dinner every night?" Emily asks.

"Nah. She just, like--gives a shit, you know?"

Emily thinks of her mom, the way she cares but doesn't really listen, and says, "Yeah, I get it."

"So, want me to take you home?"

The honest answer is _no,_ but she doesn't want to have to explain why she wants to stay, especially since they're still technically--Emily's gonna have to rip this bandaid off sooner or later. "Actually, can we talk?" 

"Sure," Matt says, visibly uncomfortable, and Emily winces. He leads her to the spare room, leaving the door propped open when his grandma makes a loud _tsk_ ing noise when he closes it. "Hope it's not too private."

"She won't, like, eavesdrop, right?"

"Probably not," Matt says. "I mean, no. I just--I'm nervous, sorry."

"So am I," Emily admits.

"What's up?" Matt asks.

"I don't--we're not working," Emily says, because _blunt_ is all she knows how to be. "And I really care about you, Matt, and I want to be friends, I just--"

"Oh, thank God," Matt says. "Em, it's good. I was gonna talk to you about this on the drive home."

Emily should be relieved, and she is, but she bristles a little anyway. "Oh."

"You're great," Matt says, and it's the boost to her ego she needs. "I just--ah, don't know if you're really? My type?"

"What does that mean?" Emily asks, trying to keep her voice down, since his grandma's just in the other room.

"You're...not a dude," Matt says.

"Oh," Emily says. "Oh! Good, okay, I was worried you were gonna end up going for Sam or whatever." And that idea makes something in her heated, a little, which is ridiculous. She's not into Matt!

"No," Matt says, laughing. "Okay, cool, I was worried you were pissed at me for something. Not sure _what_ but you never know."

"Shut up," Emily says, because it's not like he's wrong.

Sam sends another selfie later, and Emily looks at it on the drive home, this time with her pink-and-white-and-orange flag in the background, and Emily looks at it for awhile, just thinking.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Matt.

Sam's taken to jumping between extremes.

She spends time with everyone all at once, Ashley viciously defending Mike against Emily, Matt less-viciously defending Emily from Ashley, Jess ignoring them entirely and sharing a commiserating look with Sam. Then she goes home and ignores their texts, ignores her parents urging her to join them, ignores everyone but her cat, and he does his own thing mostly, anyway. She stuffs herself in the morning then skips dinner. (She never lets herself get hungry, though, waking up with a start when she feels even the slightest twinge in her stomach.)

She goes rock climbing again against doctor's orders and her dad's worried look, ignores the looks she gets when her pants ride up enough to see the almost-burns the icy water left on her legs, and climbs. The ache in her muscles feels more real than the car ride back, than the music on the radio that has to be something quiet because sudden noises make her flinch.

"What happened, kiddo?" her dad asked the first time she flinched, and she just smiled, because it's not like he'd believe her.

The news is all focused on Josh, on how he was found with his head completely crushed, on how forensic evidence is suggesting giant hands. How _ridiculous_ is that, right? His therapist is on TV constantly, now, half-sympathetic, half-publicly shamed. Sam's not really sure how she feels. She doesn't blame the guy, not really, but some part of her kind of wants to tear into him anyway.

Sometimes literally, and that's the worst part.

Matt takes her boxing, sometimes. He suggests it when she admits, almost on accident, that she's so angry, sometimes, still tense, still terrified. He said he was, too, which is validating. So he takes her boxing, and when he says, "Don't hold back," Sam nearly breaks his nose. 

"Shit! Sorry, sorry--"

"No!" Matt says, holding his nose and grinning. The blood runs into his mouth a little, which is nasty, but he doesn't seem bothered. "No, I said don't hold back, that's on me."

"I really didn't mean to," Sam says.

"I mean, yeah," Matt says. "But still. We're doing this to deal with some pretty serious shit, holding back doesn't help."

After Matt's nose stops bleeding (and Sam breathes a little sigh of relief that it isn't _broken_ ), they get to it again, and Matt starts calling out tips.

"Your stance is weak, I could knock you off balance--"

He goes to knock her down, to prove his point, and Sam side-steps, kicks the side of his leg (gently) and knocks _him_ down instead. "Are we going by official boxing rules or not holding back?"

Matt nods, looking a little serious.

Sam's fast and dexterous and balanced, but Matt's strong and can hold his own. He flips her once, she knocks him down several times, and Sam feels _alive_ , finally.

"God," she says. "I needed this. Thanks, bro."

(It's what she used to call Chris, and her stomach drops a little bit.)

"No worries," Matt says. "Honestly, it's nice to have a workout partner who doesn't suck."

"Who did you work out with before?"

"Look, you know I love Emily," Matt says, and Sam laughs, because Emily's not a boxer. She could hold her own in a fight for sure, but that's 'cause she'd go for quick and deadly. (And she'd bring a weapon, obviously. Aside from monsters, she's not the type of person to get in a physical fight without plenty of advance notice.)

They keep boxing, if that's even the right word, and Sam actually starts to feel tired. Hot, too, flushed and soaked with sweat.

"Hey, are the people here cool?" Sam asks, sitting in one of the corners and opening a bottle of water.

"What do you mean?" Matt asks, on his second bottle.

Sam takes a swig. God, that's good. "Like, can I take off my tank top since I have a sports bra on or are people gonna be weird?"

"I don't think they'll care," Matt says. "Full disclosure, _never_ thought about that before."

"I'll risk it," Sam says dryly, shrugging her tank top off. She needs new workout clothes, that shirt didn't breathe at _all_. "I think I've survived worse."

Matt laughs. "Yeah, same! Weird, right?"

"Weird," Sam agrees.

After a few minutes of relaxing, Sam suggests they get back to it, but Matt shakes his head. "Don't overwork yourself. You could fuck something up and keep yourself from doing this for awhile."

"No," Sam says instantly. "No, I'm--I wanna keep doing this."

"Same," Matt says with a smile. "You're good at this."

"Just angry," Sam says. "Or--like. You know." She doesn't have the words to say what she means, this knot of tension in her chest.

"Yeah," Matt says, not smiling anymore, just looking at the water bottle in his hands. The middle of it is completely crushed in his grip, a little water still stuck in the bottom. "What can we do, though?"

"Beat the hell out of each other, I guess," Sam says. 

Matt laughs and pushes himself up. Sam grabs one of the ropes around the ring and pulls herself up, relishing the strain in her muscles. It feels nice. Like the stress she's under isn't just mental, like this isn't just in her head. The dead skin on her legs is being replaced with new skin, pink and painless, and everything's starting to feel fake. The physical proof of what happened is gone, and she doesn't want to start doubting herself. 

"Hey, guys, what's--"

Jess stops, suddenly, looking at her with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. 

"Hey," Matt says, either oblivious to the weird tension or valiantly powering through it.

"Sorry, forgot something," Jess says, and absolutely bolts out.

"You think she's okay?" Matt asks.

"I don't know," Sam says, thinking about the look on Jess' face, the way Sam feels warm again, the way she's already forgotten the ache in her shoulder. "I hope so."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess and Mike.

Jess isn't exactly sure why she rushes out of the gym. She just knows she has to, her skin feeling like it's on fire, her blood thumping in her ears. It's too much, for some reason. Whatever _it_ is.

She'd just wanted to hang out with Matt, maybe see Sam, spend some time not with Mike. She loves Mike, obviously, of course she does, he saved her. He's just a lot, sometimes, his paranoia about the mountain and the things that live on it. He told her her thinks about going back, and she nearly broke down then and there.

She didn't, though. She waited until he was gone. It would've been shitty for her to dump that on him.

Still, Mike's easy comfort, so she calls him and says, "They weren't there! Pick me back up? We can hang out."

"I'm hanging out with Ashley, that cool?"

"Yeah," she says, relieved to realize she doesn't feel jealous. Her and Ashley aren't really friends, honestly, they don't talk, they don't have anything in common, but they understand each other. Jess looks at Ashley, sees the coldness as the shell it is, covering up some red-hot rage. Ashley looks at Jess and sees something, too. Jess isn't brave enough to ask what yet.

Jess waits far enough away from the gym that the blonde girl she sees leaving it could be anyone. That's why she doesn't head over. It could be _not_ Sam, even if it looks like her. The thought of it being her makes her stomach churn, though, so she doesn't check.

That's something Jess is gonna have to examine, she thinks, but Mike's car pulls up and Ashley awkwardly smiles at her from the passenger seat.

"I can get in back," Ashley says.

"Nah," Jess says. "I'll sit in the back, no worries."

Jess pulls the door back and slams it again, leaning back into the seat. They're a little beat-up, the cracks in the leather nothing like the cushy seats she's used to, but it's comforting. It smells like cigarette smoke. (A bad habit Mike's picked up from the mountain. He says all the other stress things his mom suggests hurt his fingers, still. The scars are gonna be permanent, Jess thinks. Mike says his hands still work fine.)

The music is slower than Jess usually likes, but it's a little nice, too, to listen to something chill that she can calm herself down to. She's gotten used to breathing techniques over the past week and a half. Slow in-and-out breaths, to distract herself from whatever in the gym made her freak out, from her thinking about how she has no way to defend herself if she encounters those monsters again, from wondering if maybe she did die up there and that's why her life feels so fucking weird.

That's Purgatory, right? She wasn't the greatest person in the world, obviously. It's partially her fault Beth's dead and Hannah's--well.

"Jess?"

"What?"

Mike looks at her in the mirror, concerned. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jess says. "Sure."

* * *

Jess hasn't confronted Mike about his cheating. "Cheating". They didn't kiss or anything, according to Emily, just a hug, which is dumb. Jess hugs people other than Mike, that's nothing. Still, she doesn't want to ask him about it. 

Ashley and Mike are talking about nothing in particular and Jess is lounging on the couch. She's not smoking weed like she normally would, because the last time she did she felt so fucking paranoid, like Mike and everyone else hated her, and no matter how much he reassured her, she didn't feel better until she ate an entire giant thing of nachos. 

"Aren't you lactose intolerant?" Mike had asked.

"Yeah," Jess says, mindlessly inhaling it anyway.

Jess isn't really paying attention to the conversation until she hears _Emily_ , and she's paranoid, still.

"I wonder how long she's gonna be pissed," Mike says, and Jess relaxes a bit.

"You did point a gun at her," Ashley says. "I mean, she tried to fucking kill me," and there's that white-hot rage masked by ice again. "But still, I get it."

"Still," Mike says, and he looks down.

"She told me you two flirted," Jess says, surprising herself. "Like, before everything went down."

Ashley looks back at Jess, more curious than surprised. Mike looks shocked, though.

"Uh," Mike says. "Yeah. We did, actually. She told you?"

"Yeah," Jess says. "Wanted to, um, warn me?"

"Warn you," Mike says. "God, it's not like I'm gonna hurt you."

"I know," Jess says, and she does, even if she's annoyed he's making this about him again.

There's a beat of silence, awkward, and Ashley stands up. "I'm gonna...let you guys talk."

Jess is relieved when she steps out, sort of, because this is a conversation she could so easily fuck up. She doesn't want to hurt Mike, she just--she wants to address it. Clear the air. Distract herself from whatever about Sam in that sports bra made her freak out.

"I really am sorry, Jessica," Mike says. 

"I actually prefer Jess," she says, interrupting him, and realizes with a little shock that she kind of enjoys the surprise on his face. "You know?"

"Sorry," Mike says. "Look, Jess, I was a dick, okay? I didn't know any better. I do know."

"You _know better_?" 

For some reason, that's the final straw.

"You didn't know better when our friend fell off a fucking mountain?" Jess says, and oh, that's why she's angry, because the prank might have been her plan but it was Mike that drove the damn thing, and he hadn't felt bad until Hannah came back with long limbs and sharp teeth and a taste for human. "Are you serious? What about what we went through was a 'learning experience' for you, huh?"

"Whoa, Jess--"

"No," Jess says. "No! God, you're an asshole, sometimes. If I hadn't gotten dragged away by that thing, I'd have done this sooner."

"Done wh--"

"We're through," Jess says, the finality of it scaring her even as she feels a little thrill of relief. "I--I do still want to be friends," she says, and hates herself for the backtrack. "But this--we can't do this anymore."

Mike looks kind of devastated, but not all that surprised, and she heads out. Ashley's waiting by her mom's car.

"Want a ride home?" Ashley asks.

"Please," Jess says, and Ashley smiles, wide and genuine, for the first time in awhile. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Emily.

Sam's annoyed at the concept of rest days, but Matt knows more than she does, so she's taking one. She wants to keep going--climb the walls at the gym and wish for a bigger challenge, try and knock Matt down again in the ring, run for miles and miles and avoid thinking about how she wishes she had something to run _towards_ rather than _from_. But rest days are important, apparently, so she's lounging on her bed with Tom kneading her stomach like the asshole he is and pretending she doesn't hear her mom and dad quietly arguing in the other room.

She could blare music, but she does sort of want to know what's going on, since every few sentences she catches her name (Sam from her dad, Samantha from her mom). Her mom seems to think they need to be more pushy with asking her what happened. She told them, eventually, when her mom had said something about bears and Sam had just snapped, saying _no,_ it was Josh, but he was sick, and it was Hannah, but she was wrong. Her dad had looked at her with pity and she looked away. Her mom had looked at her like she was crazy, and she looked at her head-on with a smile that felt a little too sharp around the edges.

She's _not_ crazy.

Sam startles when her phone goes off, dislodging Tom. He _mrrps_ in displeasure, leaping back onto the bed and resting on her chest, which is exponentially more painful than where he was sitting before. She reaches for her phone and sees a text from Emily.

_hey can i come over_

Sure

Sam makes sure to step on the creakiest floorboard in her room when getting out of bed. Her parents' argument stops abruptly, and she walks out of her room trying not to let her annoyance show.

"Emily's coming over," she says, telling, not asking. 

"Good!" her dad says. "Always liked that girl. Good head on her shoulders."

Sam snorts. "Yeah. Not that it's hard, with our friends."

Her mom frowns a little, and Sam's tempted to talk about the mountain again, see how far she can push her mom until she stops pretending everything's fine. If you're gonna do that, do it _well,_ right?

"Anyway, I'm gonna go wait for her," Sam says, and walks away from her parents. Her mom looks sad, then, and Sam tries not to feel too guilty. (She's just--she's fine, really.)

Emily gets there quickly, which is normal for her. She tends to speed just exactly 4 miles over, because 5 is pushing it and going the speed limit is way too slow. When they first started hanging out, Sam had driven at exactly the speed limit every time just to see how quickly Emily would call her on it. (The answer was less than two drives in, and Sam had respected the shit out of her for just telling her what annoyed her.)

"Hey," Emily says as soon as Sam opens the door.

"Hey," Sam says. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just--parents," Emily says, stepping past Sam and into her house. "You know?"

"Your dad worried?" Sam asks.

Emily groans. "He wants me to go to therapy. Like, just seen how _that_ doesn't work, thanks!"

Sam's pretty sure that's unhealthy, but she's also pretty sure she agrees, so she just nods. "Yeah."

"And then my mom got annoyed with him for trying to convince me, as if she didn't do the same thing." The two of them walk into Sam's room and Emily jumps right onto the bed like it's her house and not Sam's. Sam wishes she had that confidence. "I just didn't feel like dealing with it. And Matt's busy, so."

"I know," Sam says. "Uh, we've been boxing."

"He told me," Emily says, a weird look on her face. "I'd join you, but, um, not my thing. Plus, my leg's still--you know."

"I can't believe you made it back to the lodge on that," Sam says, sitting next to her and leaning back against the headboard. 

"I was motivated to not die," Emily says, straight to the point. "I wish physical therapy had something to keep me going."

"I get that," Sam says. "I've been running and I, uh." It's weird, being actually honest with her friends and not just the person in the background everybody pretty much likes. "I wish I didn't feel like I was running _from_ something, you know?"

"I don't, really," Emily says. "I mean, when I'm running from something, I still know where I'm going. Right now, I'm just stuck. Like, how am I supposed to know to move on? Everything made _sense_ before." Her face shutters a bit, and she looks down and away. "I mean, maybe before a year ago. That was--"

"Messed up," Sam suggests when Emily's sentence abruptly trails off. "I mean, what you guys did was cruel, but...I don't think anyone could have guessed that."

Emily's quiet for another few seconds. "I felt bad before, you know? And this is terrible, but finding Beth's--" She cuts off, shakes her head for a second. "I haven't been thinking about it because I can't. I have to get my life back on track and if I start _really_ thinking about it, I'm not gonna be able to stop." She laughs, quick and bitter. "I mean, when I was running, at least I was just thinking about me, still."

"That's not true," Sam says. "I mean, even once you got to the lodge, you were worried about Matt."

"Yeah, but that's Matt," Emily responds. "You know, he's so annoyingly good, you always have to worry about him. Like you, if you didn't hate all of us."

"I don't hate all of you," Sam says, confused and more than a little annoyed.

"You should," Emily says. "Josh was a creep and Chris is dead and all the rest of us--it's _our_ fault, fucking obviously."

"Yeah," Sam says. "But it's over now. And you feel guilty, even if you're trying to pretend you haven't been thinking about it--" Emily rolls her eyes, but doesn't look away from her. "So just--do better now. I don't hate you. Any of you."

Emily laughs. "God. You're just as annoyingly good as he is, huh?"

"Guess so," Sam says, though she doesn't really feel _good_ , she feels like she's just waiting for another fight. 

"Fuck," Emily says. "Hey, Sam, feel free to tell me to fuck off, okay?"

"What--"

Suddenly Emily's mouth is against hers, surprisingly gentle, and Sam doesn't even think before responding. It's a quick kiss, Sam thinks--she hasn't exactly had a lot of other experience--but when Emily pulls away, eyes closed, smiling a little, Sam doesn't regret that.

"Okay," Emily says. "Yeah, I was pretty sure already, but I'm gay, probably."

"Figured that out," Sam says, wondering if Emily was just using her. That's--well, it feels pretty terrible.

"I mean, I like _you,_ like, specifically," Emily adds, and Sam relaxes. "That came across as, like, super bitchy, right?"

"Yeah," Sam admits.

"Sorry," Emily says. "You're a way better kisser than Mike."

"Obviously," Sam says, and Emily laughs, leaning into her again. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley and Mike.

Ashley spends more time hanging out with Mike than she thinks _anyone_ would have guessed.

Here's the thing:

Ashley likes Sam, but Sam tries to ask her how she is. Emily is a bitch who wants her dead. Matt's busy with Sam and Emily (who are apparently dating now, who'd have thought?). Jess is nice, and probably the person Ashley hangs out with most other than Mike, but they've got even less in common than Ashley and Mike.

As sad as it is, Mike's probably Ashley's best friend right now.

He doesn't ask her how she is. Whether that's tact or an inability to tell that she's as profoundly fucked up as she is, she doesn't know, but she doesn't really care. Mike will talk about himself and listen when she wants to talk about books or something else she'd normally have talked to Chris about. Chris is dead, so she needs a new friend.

She doesn't think she misses Chris, not after he tried to kill her, but she misses someone giving a shit about the things she cares about.

"I think I wanna go back to the mountain," Mike says after a few moments of quiet.

"What? Why?"

"I just--that flamethrower guy, what was his name again?"

"Jack Fiddler," Ashley says. She kept his journal, after everything, rereads it every couple of days. She's never going back there, or anywhere _wild_ ever again, but if one finds its way into the city, somehow, she'll know how to protect herself. 

"Right, yeah, thanks," Mike says, smiling at her. "I just--what he was doing was important, you know? People are gonna go back up to the mountain eventually. And since I let so many of those things out--"

"That wasn't your fault, you didn't know," Ashley says, even if she's not sure if it's true. 

"Yeah, but still," Mike says. "I mean, more people are gonna die unless we--unless _I_ do something."

"What are you gonna do?" Ashley asks. She kind of admires that, that need to protect someone, even if she thinks it's ridiculous. 

"I don't know," Mike says, running a hand through his hair. The scars on his hand are still a deep, dark red. Ashley's seen him picking at them, seen them bleed when he moves his fingers too much. "I think I probably have to get good with guns first."

That's the other reason Ashley gets along with Mike. He's the one willing to see the danger with her. Ashley's relieved that Emily isn't turning into a monster, obviously, and she's usually happy she told her so (even if only so that Sam wouldn't worry). But Sam tried to hold him back from shooting her, and if she had been turning--

That's what would have been necessary. Just like Ashley not letting Chris in. Maybe he'd have made it, but that thing was so close to him. Better not to risk it.

"Ash?"

"Sorry," Ashley says on rote. She zones out all the time, lately. It isn't a big deal.

Like always, Mike nods and moves on. "So I think I'm gonna go out shooting. Wanna come?"

Ashley thinks. "Maybe." Knowledge is power, or whatever, and it's not like knowing how to shoot would _hurt_. "I'm not going up on the mountain with you."

Mike winces. "That's fine. I wouldn't force you."

Ashley smiles.

"I won't be alone up there anyway," Mike says confidently. "I'm sure Wolfie's still up there."

"You named the wolf Wolfie?" Ashley asks.

"Well, what else would he be named?" 

"Literally anything else," Ashley says, an involuntary smile on her face for the first time in--how long's it been? Two weeks? Two and a half?

"It's Wolfie now," Mike says. "No clue how I'll find him, though. Maybe he'll join a pack."

Research is Ashley's wheelhouse, actually, so she says, "I can do some research on wolves. If you want. And the times they've interacted with humans?"

"That'd be so sweet, Ash, thanks!" Mike's smile, when he's not trying to be cool, is nice. Ashley doesn't like him _that_ way, thankfully, since boys are _clearly_ trouble, but he looks younger than he is when he smiles. Just joyful. "I'm really lucky we're friends."

"What do you mean?" Ashley says, because honestly, now that Chris is gone, she wants to go fishing for compliments. No one else pays attention to her anymore.

"All our friends hate me now," Mike says, simply. "I mean, you saw how Jess reamed me the other day. And, you know, I probably did deserve that." Ashley makes a face, half-sympathetic, half-"yeah, you fucked up". "But Sam? And Emily? Matt and I never really got along, but I mean, I pointed a gun at Emily, I didn't even shoot."

Ashley nods enthusiastically, because she gets it, she really does. "As far as we knew, it was us or her. There's nothing wrong with protecting yourself."

"It's not like I wanted her to die," Mike goes on, and suddenly there's something sour in the back of her throat. "But I didn't wanna die either."

"I mean, you were protecting someone," Ashley says. "Us."

"Yeah," Mike says. "I mean, I was, but--I think for a bit there I was just thinking about myself."

Ashley nods. It's not the same as Chris, not really, because there wasn't a risk of Ashley turning into a goddamn monster, but holy shit, it's too much like it, and there goes any chance of her telling anyone about Chris, ever. Mike was the only person who might've understood, and now it looks like he'd sympathize with him, not her.

She didn't want Chris to die. She doesn't think she did. She just didn't want to let him in with a monster chasing him, and she's not all that broken up about him dying, right?

Still, she doesn't bring it up, just goes quiet for the rest of the time they spend together. After all, Mike's who she has left, too.

"You alright, sweetheart?" her mom asks later.

"Fine," Ashley says. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt & Mike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the wait! the world's broken! have this

So, here's the thing:

Matt's _really_ not fine.

His grandma looks over him with concerned eyes, asks him if he's sleeping enough, and he smiles at her and says he is. Emily asks, in her own rude but ultimately worried way, if he's handling the whole mountain situation okay, and he says he is. Sam notices something's wrong, he thinks, but they spend most of their time swinging fists at each other anyway, so she doesn't bring it up.

It's so _fucking_ easy to imagine what might've happened if something went differently.

If Emily had kept the flare gun for herself. If Matt had shot it up in the air, if he'd agreed with Emily's plan that little more. If he hadn't caught Jess in the mine. If they hadn't stayed _just_ still enough, if dawn broke just a few seconds later.

Matt had, at every turn, done what he could to help everyone but himself, and it nearly killed him.

He didn't die, though. He's here, only a few mostly-healed bruises to really physically remind him of the mountain, of the too-cold too-long too-inhuman hand that gripped him by the back of his shirt and dragged him like the brainless lump of meat the others would pretend he was, on their meaner days. 

"Matt?"

"What? Sorry."

Jess looks at him with a little awkward smile, the one they both use too much. It means _I know you're not okay, but I don't wanna talk about my problems, so let's pretend that didn't happen_. He smiles back with the same look, and they get back to it.

Matt talked to Sam, a couple days ago, about the butterfly effect. She'd gotten a weird look on her face, but followed along.

"I think--I'm lucky," Matt says, and it's weird to say, because he'd done a _lot_ of things right--kept the flare gun, made the shot. "I think I still nearly died. Because of all these little choices."

"What else can we do?" Sam asks, and it's then that Matt knows she doesn't really _get_ it.

"I don't know," Matt says, and the conversation had died.

Then he brought it up with Jess, and she'd nodded.

"I would've died if you hadn't made the choices you did," she pointed out, and that makes sense. That clicks. "I wish we like--knew, though."

"Knew what?"

"More," Jess says with a little frown, leaning forward, deep in thought. "Like, how else are we gonna know what choices lead us where?"

"What are we gonna do, watch horror movies?"

"No," Jess says instantly, shoulders tensing. "I mean read up on the mountain."

"Huh," Matt says.

Jess had enlisted Ashley for help, and Ashley's sort of blank expression had lifted, a little, when Jess smiled at her, thanked her for bringing books by. It had dropped again as soon as she noticed Matt looking, but hey, they're all kind of fucked up right now.

Matt and Jess aren't exactly academics, but they're highly motivated, so they get through the books quickly. The history of the mountain, the monsters, everything on Hannah and Beth's disappearance. Matt's grandma looks sad when she walks in, says he can't solve everything, and he smiles at her, doesn't tell her that problem's been as resolved as it's gonna get.

When the doorbell rings, Matt's sure it's just the Wendy's Jess had demanded with a sweet smile, so he goes over to pick it up.

Instead, Mike is standing there.

"Hey," Matt says, slowly lowering the hand with cash in it.

"I'll take the tip, actually," Mike says.

Matt snorts. "Ha-ha. What's up?"

"I dunno. Just wanted to hang out," Mike says, shrugging, hands in his pockets. He looks as unconfident as Matt has ever seen him, and it's...weird. 

"Uh," Matt says.

"Matt! C'mon, I _need_ my fri--Mike!" Jess startles.

"Oh," Mike says, confused.

"You can hang if, uh, Jess is cool with it?" Matt says.

Jess doesn't look extremely enthusiastic about it, but she nods, heading back to the main room, muttering something about fries.

Mike walks in, and Matt's about to close the door when the actual DoorDash guy gets there. So he tips him cash in addition to what he tipped in the app, because those jobs suck, and Mike is awkwardly waiting with him in the corridor, and overall, it's one of the weirder social experiences Matt has had since nearly dying.

"So, you and Jess, huh?" Mike finally says.

"Nah," Matt says, because the tension between them was over a girl who he didn't really like and who didn't really like either of them like _that,_ and two--well, four--of their friends are dead. It's, to varying degrees, all of their faults. 

He doesn't have the time to fight.

"I'm gay," he says when Mike looks unconvinced.

"Oh," Mike says, takes a second to process. "Are me, Ash, and Jess the only straight ones?"

Jess mumbles something from where she is on the couch, but doesn't say anything else. Matt thinks about Ashley, almost smiling at Jess, and wonders.

"I guess," Matt says, and Jess smiles at him gratefully.

"So, what're we reading?" Mike says, getting on the couch, wisely keeping a bit of a distance from Jess. Jess, nose in a book about folklore, doesn't say anything.

"The mountain," Matt says, annoyed at being put into a mediator role. He tosses Jess her fries, eats a nugget, and hands Mike a book.

Mike, surprisingly, reads along with them, quiet and patient. Jess, unsurprisingly, says she has to head out very quickly, and leaves. Matt's pretty sure Emily or Sam or Ashley is waiting out there to give her a ride.

That's how Matt finds himself alone with Mike, the still-living friend he gets along with the least. He eats another nugget.

The silence is stifling, and after finishing his book, Matt can't handle it any longer, so he hands Mike a nugget.

Mike takes it suspiciously, but eats it. "Thanks."

"I don't feel like fighting," Matt says.

"I don't either," Mike says. "I literally came here to hang out."

Fair point. "Look, I just--our friends died. We nearly died. Me and Jess especially."

Mike looks down and away from him then. "Yeah. She told me before we, uh...you know."

"Yeah," Matt says. "That's why I don't feel like fighting."

"You're a pretty decent guy," Mike says, stealing another nugget.

"You're still kind of a dick," Matt says, but Mike laughs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley and Emily.

Ashley's used to loneliness.

For awhile, she was on the outside of the friend group, tied by Chris (and Chris' connection to Josh) more than any real sense of closeness with the rest of them. They were nice enough, mostly, polite and willing to listen, but they weren't close. Not really.

Well, most of them were polite. Emily was always a raging bitch.

Maybe she's judging her too harshly. They got along okay before last year. Ashley's sadness mixed with Emily's anger in a nasty way, and Ashley can't deny she enjoyed showing Matt exactly what kind of person Emily was. Jess is sweet, Sam is genuinely good even if she can be mean, Matt's just great, and Mike's--well, Mike's a dick, but everyone pretty much knows that.

It's kind of nice, not being the only bitch in the friend group.

So when Ashley gets to Sam's house, unannounced, and Emily opens the door, smile dropping to a snarl almost immediately, Ashley just smiles. 

"Fuck off," Emily says, starting to slam the door.

Ashley grabs it, thinking about the last time she put a door in between her and someone she kind of hated. "You can't just keep Sam to yourself."

"She's my girlfriend, so," Emily says, trying to close the door on Ashley's fingers. Ashley manages to shove more of her arm in, and the noise that makes is enough for Sam to walk into the foyer and see Ashley.

"Ash," Sam says, surprised. "Uh, didn't realize you were coming over."

"Yeah, we all just kind of go over whenever now," Ashley says, if only to see the way Emily's face twitches with annoyance. "I can go, if you're busy."

"Uh," Sam says, looking at Emily. It's then that Ashley picks up on some things--Sam's parents' cars aren't in the driveway, Emily's hair is mussed, Sam still looks a little dazed--and she starts to regret coming over.

"I have to go home soon anyway," Emily says, sounding regretful. "Ashley can give me a ride."

It's presumptuous, but Ashley's surprised enough that Emily's willing to be alone in a car with her that she just nods.

"Oh!" Sam says, looking a little relieved. "Sure. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course," Emily says, voice gentler than Ashley's ever heard it, and the two kiss. Ashley has to drag her eyes away, face immediately flushing a bright red.

"C'mon, Ash," Emily says, tone mocking, pushing past Ashley. Ashley rolls her eyes but still smiles at Sam, who looks decidedly less relieved as Ashley closes the door.

Ashley waits before unlocking the passenger seat, resulting in Emily muttering something about Ashley being immature, loud and clear enough for Ashley to hear every word. Emily climbs in, gets out her phone, and starts texting.

"Your place?" Ashley says, starting up her mom's car. It's older, and the heating against Emily's face is genuinely unintentional, even if Emily glares at her for it anyway.

"My place," Emily agrees.

They pull out of Sam's driveway, starting the long drive back to Emily's. It's not a long drive, only about 20 minutes, but Ashley can't think of something to fill one minute of conversation.

Thankfully, Emily's never been short of words. "So."

"So," Ashley says.

"Sam wants us to get along," Emily says, direct as always. "And frankly, I'm sick of the infighting."

"Huh," Ashley says, waiting for the catch.

"I don't like you," Emily says.

"Likewise," Ashley says.

Emily rolls her eyes; Ashley can see it in the rearview mirror. "Let me put it this way. I can't fucking stand you, but I'm willing to pretend I can, for Sam's sake. Cool?"

"Why should I make things fine between you and your girlfriend?" Ashley asks. "Since you 'can't fucking stand me'."

Emily makes a sound, halfway between a groan and a growl, and Ashley thrills a little, at not having to pretend everything's fine. It's not, it's really not, and there's something nice about getting to say what she actually thinks.

"Because who the fuck else do you have?" Emily says, and Ashley remembers--right, Emily's a bitch, too. "Unless you and Mike are best friends now, bonding over nearly shooting me. I guess he's just a little worse than you--he's an attempted murderer, you're just an accomplice."

Ashley's so goddamn tired, so goddamn pissed, and no one will believe Emily since she hates her so much, anyway, so she says, "I killed Chris."

Emily's grimace wavers, confusion overtaking it. "What?"

"I mean, not directly," Ashley says, and even she's a little alarmed at how matter-of-fact she sounds. "He was being chased. He got to the door in time, you know. I just didn't open it. I watched that thing rip his head off, and I honestly don't even feel bad about it."

"You heartless bitch," Emily says, tone hard to decipher.

"Please," Ashley says, rolling her eyes. "You know you'd have done the same thing. Mike almost shot you, would you have let him in?"

"No," Emily says, instantly, easily, like Ashley knew she would. "But I don't pretend otherwise, like I'm some damsel."

"I'm not pretending," Ashley says with a shrug. It's weird, how normal this all feels. "I'm just not trying to get arrested."

"Then why the fuck would you tell me?" Emily says, accusatory, like it's a trap.

Ashley actually smiles, like she's some fucking horror villain in the movies she could never stand anyway, and says, "You hate me so much. Who'd believe you?"

Emily laughs, and it's so surprising that Ashley turns over to look.

"Well," Emily says. "Glad we're on the same page."

"For Sam's sake," Ashley agrees, and Emily nods. They have a deal, fragile as it may be.

It's then they get to Emily's house, and Ashley smiles at her sweetly as she unlocks the door. Emily looks at her with this weirdly intense look, half-heat, half-ice, all angry, and something hungry catches in Ashley's chest.

Emily smirks before slamming the door, and Ashley pulls out faster than is strictly necessary.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess & Matt.

Matt doesn't drink often, and Jess has been trying to drink less, but the fact remains: the two of them are absolutely shitfaced on Matt's bed, watching terrible reality TV, and complaining about their friends.

Okay. That's not _quite_ accurate. They're not complaining about their friends; in fact, they're more complimenting than anything. Well, Jess is complimenting. Matt is nodding along and saying supportive things.

Okay. The crux of the matter is:

Jess is still sort of surprised that of the two people in their group to get together, it's Sam and Emily.

It's not a bad thing! Jess isn't, like, homophobic--that's _really_ far from the issue, actually--it's just.

"You've got that--face on again," Matt says, laughing a little, poking her cheek.

"No, I don't," Jess lies. "What face, anyway? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, you do, the one where your nose like--" Matt scrunches his nose up in an unflattering and probably accurate impression of her annoyed-about-being-annoyed face. Jess makes a disgruntled noise and thwacks him with her knee. He doesn't even react, the jerk.

"It's _just_ that," Jess says, taking the bottle from Matt's hand and taking a drink. "If anyone was gonna date a girl in the group, right, it was gonna be Sam."

"Yeah, she's been out for ages," Matt says.

"But," she says, gesturing wildly with the bottle. She thinks some of--whatever they're drinking has spilled on the drinks. No. On the sheets. Maybe she is wasted. Like, wasted-wasted. "Emily."

"She's also gay," Matt says, with a knowing look on his face that she hates, a little. 

"Yeah, but like," Jess says, stopping again. He takes the bottle from her. "Like, I was her friend for _ages_ and I didn't know. I thought she liked Mike! Like, _liked_ Mike. I mean, they were together for like, ages."

"Emily tried explaining it to me--compulsory--something. I don't know. She was very insistent she didn't actually like Mike ever. Which--fair."

"Yeah," Jess says. "No. No, you're not getting it."

"Okay," Matt says, patient. "What am I not getting?"

Jess groans and flops back against the headboard. "I don't know."

"Well," Matt says, taking the bottle from her despite her half-hearted protests. "Are you annoyed you didn't know Emily was gay?"

Jess thinks about the complicated tangle of emotions somewhere in her stomach, trying to figure out if it's annoyance or--

"No," Jess says. "I'm--upset. Not that she didn't tell me, I'm--"

"You just wish you knew," Matt says.

"Yeah," Jess says. "Yeah, but I don't know why."

"It's a mystery," Matt says agreeably, but he's grinning.

"Shut up," Jess says.

"Well, what about your thing with Ashley?" Matt asks.

Jess can feel her face warm. "What thing with Ashley?"

"You two just seem to get along," Matt says with a shrug. 

"Yeah," Jess says. "She's my friend. She seems fixated on Emily right now, though. Like, damn, does everyone has a crush on Emily?"

"I don't. If that helps."

Jess laughs, despite herself, and groans. "Ugh."

"Okay," Matt says. "I think the problem here is that you're realizing you had a crush on Emily as soon as you couldn't do anything about it."

"What!" Jess says, not a question. "That's! Why would you even--" She laughs, high and unconvincing even to her own ears. "That's ridiculous. Like, oh my God. Emily? Please. If I have a crush on anyone, it's--"

She hesitates, and Matt makes that face again.

"Damn it," Jess says. "Gimme the bottle."

He gives her the water bottle instead, because he is an asshole and because he loves her.

"Ugh. Like, fuck. If anyone was gonna date Emily, it's wild that it wasn't me. You know?" 

"Yeah," Matt says, though he clearly doesn't.

Jess drinks more water. "It's like--I don't know. Our friendship always felt so _important_ , you know? Like, I had friends before her but this one was--something special. I thought we were gonna be 'best friends forever'." She tries to make the phrase deliberately mocking, but her voice cracks, so it sort of ruins the effect. "And now it's like--she's busy with her girlfriend, and she's busy hanging out with Ashley just to bitch at her, and she doesn't even _talk_ to me anyway."

"That really sucks," Matt says. "Shit, Jess, I'm sorry."

She's not sure what prompted the apology until she realizes she's crying, just a little, and puts her hands over her face. "Stop. Pretend you didn't see that."

"It's okay to be upset," Matt says.

"I know, it's just stupid," Jess says, voice harsher than it needs to be. "Like, fuck."

"I could tell you about my love life problems," Matt says. "To even it out."

"Sure," Jess says, relieved at the distraction.

"Well, the only other guy who knows I'm gay and I could even think about trusting is _Mike,_ " Matt says, and Jess laughs so hard she falls off the bed. 

* * *

Later, when the pleasant buzz is starting to give way to a headache and a dry mouth that Jess could really have done without, Jess says. "You know what the worst part is?"

"What?"

"I think that--I don't like Emily. Or--I don't _just_ like Emily."

"You like Ashley, too?" Matt says.

Jess groans. "I meant Sam. Do I really like Ashley?"

"It's sort of obvious," Matt says, sympathetic. Jess groans again.

"Damn it. How cliche is that?"

"I don't actually think crushing on _multiple_ friends is a gay stereotype," Matt says. "But I don't really know, so."

"Small town problems," Jess says.

"Small town problems," Matt agrees.

"Wanna watch a bunch of cheesy movies and forget about our problems?"

"God, yes."

Then they watch a movie where the lead kind of looks like Sam, and Jess gets really into it, and gets annoyed when she kisses the guy at the end instead of the other cheerleader, and Matt teases her until they both pass out.

Jess wakes up with a headache and swears Matt to secrecy. He agrees, hand on his heart, still with that knowing look on his face. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam & Jess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG; i got minecraft. also, this chapter was what inspired the whole fic, hence it taking so long. i wanted it to be GOOD.

Sam's having another play-brawl with Matt where they both hit harder than they should and Sam pretends she isn't still ready to go when it ends when she notices Jess. She waves, notices Jess is a little pink in the face.

"Is Jess sick or something?" she asks Matt in a low tone that hopefully won't carry.

Matt looks over and grins. "No, I don't--think so."

Sam's about to press, because after everything, she _really_ doesn't like secrets, but then Jess is walking up, and she's still got some tact, so she doesn't.

"Hey," Jess asks, a beat too late to be natural.

"Hey," Sam asks, wishing she wasn't immediately on her guard.

"Alright, I'm headed home," Matt says. "Jess, want a ride?"

"...no," Jess says. "Uh. Sam, if you're good to keep going, I could--use a lesson?"

"Matt knows more than me," Sam says.

Jess rolls her eyes. "Matt's also a jock. You're more, you know, my build."

Sam shrugs. "Sure. I guess." She doesn't really understand, because Sam is practically as new to this as Jess, but Matt's waving goodbye and she can always press more later.

"So," Sam says.

"So," Jess says.

There's an awkward beat of silence.

"I want you to teach me how to protect myself," Jess says after a long moment.

At last, the actual reason they're here. "You know, when it comes to the mountain, I know as little as you."

"But I nearly froze to death in a mineshaft and you blew up, like, five of those things," Jess says, suddenly heated, in Sam's face. Sam only barely manages to avoid retreating, back already against the ropes of the ring. "So _teach me_."

"You think I, what, was just _ready_ for everything on the mountain?" Sam says, aware her tone is slipping into mocking when Jess' face goes cold. "I nearly died. If I'd _moved--_ "

"You have to," Jess says. "You have to be--I don't know, you have to know something I don't!"

Jess hasn't backed up, and Sam _really_ doesn't enjoy feeling cornered, so she moves her hands up and gently pushes her shoulders. Jess steps back willingly, and something in Sam calms.

"You said," Jess says, slow and careful in a way Sam isn't used to seeing from her, "that you would teach me."

"I don't know what you want me to teach," Sam says, breathing slow, trying not to start yelling or running away or throwing punches. Jess is her friend, even if she's being--a lot, right now, up in Sam's face and acting differently in a way that feels stifling. "I don't know anything special."

"Then why aren't you scared?" Jess says, and it would've shocked Sam less if she were yelling. The resigned, terrified tone isn't one she's comfortable with, and the familiar urge to make it go away, even if she has to lie, is hard to ignore. She doesn't want to lie about what they're facing.

"I am," Sam says, even though it feels like pulling teeth.

Jess looks up, fire in her eyes again, and says, "Gee, thanks, Sam. Maybe try to be more convincing when you lie next time."

Sam rolls her eyes. "Jesus, what do you think I am? Some sort of superwoman? Yeah, I'm fucking scared." It's a relief to say it out loud, Sam realizes with a shock of surprise. Jess is looking at her with that same annoyed expression, though, so Sam continues. "I had to stay still while they--stared right at me." Her voice cracks, and she wills herself not to stop, but she's spent so long _not_ talking about it that it just doesn't come out again.

"I heard," Jess says. "Mike was so--impressed with you."

"You're--is this about jealousy?" Sam asks. "Are you actually fucking with me? Because after Josh, I've had enough of that--"

"No," Jess says with a snort. "Uh, definitely not."

Sam remembers Jess curled into her side and Mike looking at her with an odd expression, and then she remembers Emily, who can be so sweet when she actually wants to be, rare as that is, and reflexively slams a lid down on whatever _that_ thing with Jess is. Was. Whatever.

"Sorry," Jess says after a moment.

Sam's not sure it's genuine, but it's an out from this awkward atmosphere, so she says, "Don't mention it. Seriously."

Jess looks at her with a calculating expression she'd expect more from Emily, which isn't really helping, and says, "You climb, right?"

"Yeah," Sam says, not talking about how she scaled a cliff from a mineshaft only to nearly die of hypothermia and then a monster in the span of about fifteen minutes, even if the thought makes its way to the forefront of her mind in seconds. "Why?"

"Teach me that?" Jess asks.

Climbing, Sam can handle.

* * *

Jess tries, again, to pull herself up with her right arm without pushing herself up with her feet, and Sam says, again, "You're gonna wrench your arm out of its socket if you keep doing that."

"As long as I get up, I don't see how it _matters_ ," Jess says. "They can always put it back."

Sam doesn't say anything to that, because really, what is there to say? "Still. You'll make it up faster if you use your legs and your arms."

Jess doesn't say Sam was right, but that finally seems to make it click, because her progress up the rock wall is going a lot faster now.

"Good," Sam says belatedly. She's really not a great teacher.

Jess makes it to the top of the first wall, the easiest one outside of the walls for kids. "Next one."

"You should rest," Sam says.

"Fuck that," Jess says. Sam privately agrees. "Sam. Please."

And doesn't _that_ just do something weird to her. She's relieved Jess isn't looking at her face. "Fine."

Jess stills for just a second, then quickly rappels down--Sam winces at the _thud_ of her shoes against the mat, even if Jess doesn't flinch--and starts hooking herself up to the next one.

She goes a bit slower this time, but she's still at a decent pace. When she makes her way to the top, she thuds her head against the wall and yells, which isn't--normally how this goes.

"What?" Sam says, trying to sound annoyed rather than worried.

"This isn't anything like real mountain climbing, is it," Jess says. Despite the words, it's not phrased like a question.

"Not really," Sam admits.

"Take me somewhere we can actually practice," Jess says.

"No," Sam says.

Jess whirls around, effect only slightly ruined by her getting twisted in the harness. "Why _not_?"

"I don't actually feel like going on a mountain ever again," Sam says. "Weirdly enough."

Jess stops at that. "Oh. That--yeah."

There's another awkward beat of silence, and really, Sam's had enough of those. "Are you gonna come down, or...?"

Jess makes her way down, a little more gently this time. Sam goes to help her with her harness, because the rope is all tangled in it and they're already confusing on a good day. She pretends not to notice how Jess' eyes flick up to her lips and pretends that she can't feel a blush up the back of her neck.

Once the harness is free, Sam steps back, putting some space between them before she's a complete asshole and ruins her relationship with Emily. It's new, but it's--good, and even if Sam's attracted to Jess and Jess to her, she's not gonna risk that.

Not without talking to Emily first. And if Emily doesn't feel like sharing, Sam can live with that.

"I'll see you around," Jess says, and the words have more weight than they should.

Sam just nods.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Jess.

Emily isn't jealous.

No, really, she isn't. She _should_ be, she thinks, tries to muster up the energy to be angry, but really, it's not a big deal. Maybe she's matured after almost dying, or something. Maybe she just finally knows what it's like to trust her partner.

So, the thing is:

Jess is pretty obviously into Sam, and Sam is at least kind of into her too, but Emily doesn't care.

If Matt, when they were together, had been into Jess, Emily would have _raged_ , she knows that much. (She's almost willing to admit to herself that might have had more to do with it being Jess than it being Matt. Almost.) And she still gets mad when she thinks about Mike and Jess, and--when she'd thought Matt was into Sam.

So, the thing is:

Her girlfriend and her best friend are into each other, and she's kind of into both of them, which is why she's not jealous, she's just--on edge. All the time.

She's not gonna betray Sam, that much is certain. She cheated on Matt with Mike, and felt pretty shitty about it despite not caring about both of them. And she really, really cares about Sam. It scares her a little how much.

Part of it is that Sam is the first girl she's dated, yeah. That's definitely not _nothing_. But Sam was with her on the mountain, practically stood between her and Mike's gun, stayed still enough for everyone to get out. (Even Mike. Sam's just _good,_ and Emily's not, but she wants to be, when Sam's around. Feels like she could be, maybe.)

Ugh. Okay.

The reason Emily's stuck in her own head right now, something she tries really hard to avoid as of late, is because she and Sam and Jess and Ashley are all hanging out and it's--

Really, really good.

Ashley's quiet, too--shocker--but Sam is livelier than Emily has seen her in weeks, smiling at Jess with this soft expression that's not all that different from the one Emily only sees when she and Sam are alone. The smile's a little wider, expression more open in general, but not better, just different.

Next to her, Ashley shifts, and Emily's certain that if she turned and looked, there'd be jealousy written all over it. Emily kind of wants to break the quiet of this moment and drag Ashley into another electrifying fight, where they get a little too close to each other and Ashley tries to stay cold but ends up just as fired up as Emily.

Hm. That--might be something that she has to look into soon.

For now, she's still looking at the two people she's probably closest to in the world, and Sam looks over and smiles at her. Emily smiles back.

Sam and Ashley end up leaving early--something about research, and Emily doesn't ever want to hear anything about the mountain again, so she declines. Jess shrugs and stays with her.

Emily tries not to feel warm at that. (She does not succeed.)

Jess gets up and stretches. "Alright. Two of us again." Her smile is warm and achingly familiar. For just a second, Emily forgets the mountain, forgets the prank, forgets the hellish year and a half that led to here.

Just for a second. It's a nice second though.

"Yup," she says belatedly. "Just the two of us."

Jess' smile grows awkward. "Right! So..."

Hanging out together used to be so easy. Emily would study and Jess would try to until she got so bored that she'd give up entirely, try and drag Emily away from her textbooks and into some wild misadventure. It worked more often than not; she'd only turn her down right before tests, and Jess usually wouldn't ask then, just mess around on her phone until Emily had finished reading what she needed to and needed a distraction.

Then they'd get way too drunk. Emily doesn't think she'd ever drink that much alcohol again. 

(She doesn't want to black out anymore. Thinks she'd make some dumb decision, like doing what Mike's apparently been talking about and hunting down the last of those fucking monsters and caging them back up. But that's moronic. Let him kill himself; she's not gonna make it easier for those things to get her.)

"Uh," Emily says.

She and Jess were always different. It just didn't matter so much when all their friends were friends--Jess' friends that let Emily hang around, really--but now their group's bonded together by something way stronger than a shared school and dislike of certain teachers.

Hard to just chat about the night they nearly died.

"We could just watch TV?" Jess suggests.

Emily nods.

The show they pick is equal parts dark and romantic, not gory, just suspenseful. Emily's never been big into horror, but Jess has loved it for years, leaning forward and fixated on the screen in a way Emily tries not to be jealous of.

What would it be like, to have her attention like that? Jess is easily distracted, bounces between interests week by week, commands the attention of everyone all at once when she wants to. It's only one or two times their friendship that Jess has paid attention to only her, both times when Emily got so overwhelmed she was really, truly panicking. She hadn't exactly been able to enjoy it.

"Did you see that?" Jess says, excited, turning to her. "The face? In the window?"

"No," Emily admits.

"You're so bad at paying attention," Jess groans.

"No, I'm not," Emily says, irritated. 

"Yeah, you are," Jess says. "If it's not school or a deal, it barely even exists to you."

"You love when I find you deals," Emily says, annoyed. 

"No, I just love spending time with you," Jess says. Emily would think it was a Freudian slip if Jess wasn't avoiding looking at her, gaze fixed on the TV. She's not paying attention, though, or she'd have jumped at the face in the ladder in the basement.

Huh.

Emily's gonna have to talk with Sam sooner rather than later.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Ashley.

"Hellooooo, Sam?"

"Mmf," Sam says eloquently.

"Did you forget we were spending the day together?" Emily asks, amused.

Sam adjusts the phone to hear her better. "Maybe. Sorry."

"No, it's fine," Emily says. "C'mon, come let me in, I'll help you get ready."

Sam thinks that if Emily's going to help her get ready that the process will actually go much slower rather than faster, but she's not _complaining,_ exactly. Still, she rolls out of bed, narrowly avoiding stepping on her cat, who has the nerve to glare at her for his placement where her feet always go. 

Emily looks her up and down with a grin that's a little too sweet to be the expression Emily probably thinks it is, but Sam finds it cute, anyway, tries to pull her in for a kiss.

"You've definitely not brushed your teeth yet," Emily says, amused. "Try again later."

She's not wrong, so Sam moves so Emily can brush past her.

It isn't until after Sam's brushed her teeth, pulled on her jeans, and grabbed her wallet to head out that she realizes what's off. Emily's _nervous_. Not scared--Sam's seen Emily terrified, up on the mountain, knows that sharp-edged anger and silent horror. She's not angry, now, smiling gently at Sam when she finally leaves her room, and she's not quiet, offering her usual scathing commentary on the music that comes on the radio once they get in Emily's car.

"What's going on?" Sam asks, eventually, after Emily's comments trail to a natural stop.

"What do you mean?" Emily asks. She's not an awful liar, but Sam's gotten to know her really well over the months they've been together. The way Emily meets her gaze and holds it longer than she normally would, her expression unnaturally neutral. 

"Emily," Sam says.

Emily sighs. "It's not a bad thing, Sam. I was gonna bring it up after we did--"

"Are you finally gonna tell me what we're doing today?" Sam asks, aiming for teasing.

Immediately, Emily retorts, "No, wait and see."

There's another moment of silence. They've gotten pretty good at nonverbal communication--not just Emily and Sam, but all six of them. Sam and Mike managing to blow up the lodge, Ashley and Emily's silent staring contests, Matt and Jess always managing to reassure each other with only a glance. Just a survival mechanism, Sam's well-aware, but it doesn't change the fact that they're just studying each other, no words spoken, and come to an understanding.

Emily sighs. "So. I should start this conversation with whatever you say, we're still, like, good. Or will be on my end. Like, I'm not gonna break up with you over this, so--you know, do the same for me?"

She's not normally so rambly. Sam's far from _reassured_ by the start of the conversation, but relationships are about listening, Sam thinks, so she just nods. 

"You've, like, noticed Ashley and Jess, right?" Emily says. "Or--you know, the way they are? Around us? And kind of each other?"

Oh, thank God, Sam'd been sure this was something to do with the monsters or the mountain. "What, friendlier? Quieter?"

Emily rolls her eyes. "No, Sam. I mean the way they look at you. At _us._ " A furrowed brow, slight frown. "I mean, definitely at you. I think at me."

"I'm not following." Sam takes her water bottle out of her bag to take a swig, in case this turns into a crying conversation. Not that she'd let herself, but it's the principle of the thing. Doesn't hurt to stay hydrated, anyway.

"You're not so different from Matt," Emily mutters. "The way they're _into_ us, Sam."

Sam nearly chokes on her water. She hadn't realized they were going to _talk_ about that. "Oh."

"Are you okay?" Emily asks. Sam can't tell if her tone is judgmental or worried, which means it's probably both.

"Fine," Sam wheezes. "Uh. Yeah. I've, uh, noticed."

The way Jess' eyes catch on Sam's arms when they climb together, and Sam's face feels all-too-red even though she knows she's good at keeping herself blank. The way Ashley leans into Emily's space, grin almost dangerous, insulting her cheerfully without either of their smiles dulling. Jess' head on Emily's shoulder, Ashley reaching for Sam's hand when one of them wakes up from a nightmare, Ashley and Jess curled into each other's spaces like inverted commas.

"Thank God, I was worried I was gonna have to walk you through every step of that," Emily says. Sam gently kicks one of Emily's feet a little further from her. "So. I was just--thinking."

"You do that," Sam says dryly. 

Emily snorts. It's not something she used to do around Sam, and she always feels so _warm,_ so reassured by it. That she trusts her enough to look a little stupid, or something. "If they're into us and each other and we're into them, why not just go for it? And like--" Emily looks so anxious, all of a sudden. "If you don't want to, that's fine. Not fine, it's--good. Whatever you want is good, okay? I'm not leaving you."

Sam grabs Emily's hand. "Don't worry. I'm not mad. Did sort of think you hated Ashley, though."

Emily's face scrunches up. "Ugh. Kind of. But also, not really?"

"Wow," Sam says. "Super helpful explanation. I understand perfectly--"

"It's just different," Emily interrupts. "Like, I trust you with my life, and Jess is my oldest friend, and being around Ashley is just--different. I want to win an argument with her, but I also kind of want to, like, shut her up."

"Oo," Sam says, mostly joking around. 

"What about you?" Emily asks. "What is you see in Ashley? Because, like, I get Jess."

Sam thinks. "She kind of--look, not of us are perfect people."

"Speak for yourself."

"Right, sorry, I forgot--you're always right and have never made a mistake in your life," Sam says, grinning back at Emily. "It feels like...Ashley's honest with herself, usually, about where she's fucked up. And with us."

Emily shifts a little in her seat, dropping Sam's gaze.

"Like, remember the journal?" Sam doesn't mention the bite, which is really what they're talking about, because Emily still goes still and quiet whenever it and the gun come up.

"Yeah," Emily says quietly. 

"She could have kept that to herself. Would've been easier. You probably would have been nicer to her."

"Maybe," Emily says, which is Emily for _definitely._

"But she told you. Even when she's not _good_ , she's direct about it. I appreciate that, you know?"

Emily nods. "Yeah. Ugh, it feels weird admiring her."

"You can still have a weird competition relationship with her," Sam assures her, and it feels nice to just joke about it, after weeks and weeks of tension and unconscious glances and dreams about all four of them.

"Damn straight," Emily says, and Sam laughs, pulling her in for a quick kiss. (As it turns out, they do not leave the car for quite some time.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this chapter was mostly sam and emily rather than sam and ashley BUT it's relationship negotiations so hopefully! that makes up for it! also there will be more sashley later they are my favorite. they all are but REALLY...i'm a sucker for sam/ash. related: if you wanted more of Them out of this chapter, i have a soulmate au for them you can check out! it's brief but i'm hoping to post a sequel soon : )


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley and Matt.

Ashley blinks at Sam. "What?"

"If you're not, uh." Sam's voice doesn't so much trail off as cut off entirely. It's charming, kind of, to see Sam so out of her element, after Ashley's gotten so used to seeing her being so capable and in control. "Look, if you're not interested, I'm not gonna, like. I don't know, act like a dude about it."

Ashley snorts. "Who said I'm not interested?"

Sam's hopeful expression is hard to look at, for some reason, so she doesn't, looking down at her feet. "The blank expression and complete silence wasn't exactly reassuring."

Ashley gives that some thought. It's fair. It's funny, too--no one would have called her emotionless before the mountain, the way she teared up at sad books and any mention of the Washington twins, but now? She supposes she is. More than Emily, who's quick to anger in defense of anyone in their little group, and more than Jess, who still smiles easily even if people can see cracks around the edges, now, or maybe that's just Ashley. More than Sam, but she comes closest, Ashley thinks, remembering a sharp grin and an easy lie about being fine. 

"I," Ashley says, and then stops speaking as if her throat closed up. "I don't--I am interested."

"Okay," Sam says. "Are you...alright?"

"Yeah," Ashley says, but it sounds like a lie. It's annoying. She's not lying right now. "I am. I just--"

"Chris?" Sam asks, and Ashley's not sure if it's sympathy or pity she's hearing, but either way, Ashley hates it.

"No," she snaps. "No, it's not!"

But it is, Ashley thinks. And that's when she knows she can't just talk to Emily about it. She needs to talk to someone without the barbs and the back-and-forth.

"Can I--" Ashley says, then stops. She's past asking for permission to be, anymore. "Can I get back to you?"

Sam nods, but it's clearly not the answer she was hoping to hear.

"Thanks," Ashley says, and tells herself she's not fleeing when she briskly walks out the door.

* * *

"Matt," Ashley says over the phone.

"Ash," Matt says, aware and anxious in a heartbeat. "What's wrong?"

"I--" Ashley leans against her headboard. "I don't know."

"So it's not, like--"

"Not mountain danger," Ashley says. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called."

"It's fine, Ash, don't worry," Matt says. "Seriously."

"Yeah, but I don't want to use you as like, a therapist," Ashley says, nose crinkling up in disgust. "Especially given how that worked for Josh."

Matt chokes out a laugh, like he's trying not to find it funny but failing. "You can't blame the guy for trying."

"I can for fucking up," Ashley says, and it's harsher than she means to be. "Okay. Back and forth, then. I tell you something, you tell me something."

"Okay," Matt says. "I actually think coffee ice cream is better than coffee."

Ashley laughs despite her best wishes. "I mean something serious, you dork." She wishes they'd hung out more before the mountain. She likes Matt. She thinks that they could have been friends without the life-or-death bonds tying them together. She's not sure the same can be said for anyone else from the mountain except maybe Sam, but she doesn't want to leave any of them behind now, even Mike, even Emily.

"Alright," Matt agrees, and then they're silent. Ashley starts to worry the call's dropped when Matt says, "I almost left Emily."

"You _did_ leave Emily," Ashley says. "She had her lesbian awakening, remember?"

"No, I mean--" Matt says. Ashley waits for him to finish. "After the first time I tried to reach her on the fire tower, I nearly jumped to save myself instead of her."

"Oh," Ashley says. It's clear he's been holding this in for ages based on the weight the words carry, but it just makes Ashley feel like shit. His big secret is that he nearly left someone to die, and didn't, and lived anyway. Ashley's is that she killed someone who she probably could have saved just because she could.

"I feel awful about it," Matt says. "When I ran into Jess, I could have left her, too. I didn't. I couldn't, after thinking Emily was dead."

"What if Emily had died?" Ashley asks. "And you knew? Saw it happen? Dragged away by one of those monsters?"

"I think I would have," Matt says.

"Left Jess or stayed?"

"Do you really need me to tell you?" Matt says. The guilt in his voice is answer enough.

"You're a good person," Ashley says, because someone has to. "I mean, your big secret is you almost left two people who you ended up sticking by."

"What's yours?" Matt asks. "I'm guessing it's not the weird thing you have going on with the other girls."

"No, it's not," Ashley says peevishly. "Um." She'd called him to talk about this, but it's still fucking impossible to start. "They told you about Josh's sick game, right?" she says instead, because it's easier to tell a story the other person already knows.

"Yeah," Matt says.

"Uh. So the first time, Chris chose me--" Except he didn't, of course. He chose Josh, and that's why he was so confused when she'd made it out instead. She figured that out not too long after Josh pulled the mask off, but she hasn't told anyone. She doesn't think she'll ever tell anyone that part, how she ranked second twice in a row. "--but the second time, he pointed a gun at me. Pulled the trigger. He meant to kill me."

"That's awful," Matt says.

"Yeah," Ashley says. "Yeah, and I was so mad--and I just, when he got to the door--"

"You froze," Matt says gently. "Mike said so."

"I didn't," Ashley says. "I didn't."

She could swear she hears it when the silence shifts from confused to understanding. Which is stupid, of course, but she could. Maybe it's just because they all understand each other now.

"Ashley--"

"I'm not sorry," she says, and means it. "He tried to kill me, and it could have slaughtered all of us, maybe. I don't know."

"I'm not blaming you," Matt says. "I get it. How easy it is to leave someone behind."

"But you didn't," Ashley says. "You're better than I am!"

"I'm not going to tell you what you did was okay, but I get it. I might have done the same," Matt says, and something in Ashley crumbles at that, and now she's just sobbing into the phone. It goes on for ages, but when she tires herself out, she does feel better. Hollow, maybe, but not so on edge.

"You better?" Matt asks.

"Morally or emotionally?" Ashley asks, and Matt laughs. "I needed that."

"I figured," Matt says. "So."

"So."

"You gonna go talk to Sam?" Matt teases, and Ashley hangs up the phone immediately. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley & Jess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry for the wait Again. i watched literally 300 episodes of the arrowverse, in chronological order, in a week and a half. also i'm mentally ill, which is probably what caused the previous reason. hopefully the longer chapter helps make up for it!

Jess has a one-track mind.

For all her parents groan about it, she doesn't think it's a bad thing; she gets a goal, and she focuses on it. It's exactly the trait they'd respect in her if she were more like Emily, giving a shit more about her grades than her social standing.

(She wonders what her parents would think of Emily, if she were their daughter. If they'd respect the debilitating anxiety that _really_ drives her, if they'd ignore it, like Emily's parents do. If they'd even notice. They don't notice Jess' anxiety, the way she checks every door in the house before she goes to sleep now, the way she puts a chair in front of her door handle, the way she's looked at guns online and considered asking Mike for help in learning to shoot, despite the awkwardness.)

The thing about Jess is that the track shifts quickly, but once she's on it, it takes something big to change it. She'd pictured her life as prom queen to model to trophy wife and been absolutely content, and then she'd started dating Mike, and all that had changed was the face she pictured next to her.

And then--this.

Emily's confession, quiet and slow and cautious in a way that's so, so unlike her, and Jess beaming so hard it hurt her face, could swear it hurt the cuts that have long-since healed, and--not a kiss.

Which is fine, obviously.

Jess kind of appreciates it, she thinks, the way Emily's trying to make it so clear that this isn't something quick and temporary for her, that she wants to do this Right with a capital-R. She also kind of can't stop herself from looking at Emily anymore, at Emily and Sam together, and it's _far_ from appropriate, the way her gaze locks on them kissing. In public, even, and _Emily's_ the one who drops her gaze first.

Sam holds it, and that challenge is exciting in its own way.

All this to say, Jess is totally, one hundred percent focused on Sam and Emily right now. She thinks about Ashley sometimes--she likes her, after all--but Sam says Ashley had all but run away after admitting she was interested through gritted teeth, and none of the three of them have heard from her since. She's talking to Matt and Mike, which is weird. All Matt will tell them is that Ashley's working through some stuff, and that both of them are a little busy helping Mike with some rescue mission, but not of a person, and he refuses to discuss it further.

"I don't understand either, probably some gun," Sam says, leaning into Jess' personal space, and Jess has to actually close her eyes and firmly tell herself that they're doing this Right, and she definitely should _not_ drag Sam into her lap right now. Or vice versa. She honestly doesn't really mind. 

The problem is that Jess's one-track mind can take a backseat with these five people, the people who've seen her at her worst and the only people she thinks she'll ever trust completely. Even Mike, for all the tension in their conversations, is easier to talk to than her parents nowadays.

Not that that's surprising.

So she drops by Matt's place, guessing that Ashley and Mike will be there based on the fact that Emily and Sam are having a day to themselves and no one's reached out to her, so it has to be all three of them today, and Matt's grandma is nicer than any of the rest of their families. 

But when she knocks on the door, she turns Jess away, saying they're at Mike's. Mike's place is Jess' least favorite after her own within the group. It always smells a little like alcohol, even though Mike hasn't thrown a party since the mountain.

She parks in the driveway, ready to knock on the door and be invited in, but instead, as soon as she steps out, she hears Ashley yell, "Jess, grab him!"

Jess turns to look at her, sure that Mike's grabbed Ashley's book or something, but instead, a wolf is running at her.

Her first instinct is to scream and her second is to run, but she vaguely remembers Sam telling her that running from wild animals is generally a bad thing, so instead she stands her ground and glares at it, hoping that it ignores her and knowing that Ashley is smart enough to call 911 if it doesn't.

Instead, it sits down right in front of her and stares at her.

"Oh," Ashley says.

"You got him to stop," Mike says, relieved, jogging towards her wearing an orange safety vest. "Wolfie! Bad dog. Wolf."

"Mike, what the fuck?" Jess says, keeping her tone sweet so that the wolf doesn't try and rip her guts out. 

"This is Wolfie!" Mike says, and that's when it clicks--the wolf that supposedly helped Mike out of the sanatorium. She'd really thought he was lying, holy shit. "He's friendly, you can pet him."

Doubtful, Jess reaches her hand out for the wolf--Wolfie, apparently--to sniff. Instead, he headbutts her hand like a cat would, clearly demanding attention, and she pets him.

This wolf, she decides, is actually her favorite person from the mountain.

"You're so cute," Jess coos, and Wolfie looks pleased, she thinks. She doesn't know wolf body language, but he's not attempting to bite her, so whatever, she's fine with it. 

"He really likes you," Ashley says. She's wearing the safety vest, and it's with no small amount of despair that Jess realizes she still thinks she's cute with it on. "You've been outshined."

"What? No," Mike says. "Come on, Wolfie."

Jess can't help but laugh a little when Wolfie completely ignores him, staring adoringly at her.

"My wolf now," she says.

"I can't believe this," Mike says dramatically. "Wolfie, we were partners in crime. The best of friends."

Wolfie tilts his head so Jess can pet him better. She scratches behind his ears. He needs a better name.

"He has spent all day with you, man," Matt says, and he's got the vest on, too. "Probably just excited to see a new person."

"You guys planning on going trick-or-treating? You realize that's still awhile away, right?" Jess asks, more focused on _her_ new best friend than any of them. "Also, how did you get him?"

Then there's a silence, heavier than it should be, and Jess doesn't know what her face is doing, but Wolfie cowers a little.

"You didn't," Jess says.

"Jess--"

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?" she hisses, glaring at Mike. "You know what's up there!"

"We only went during the daylight, and we brought plenty of food," Matt tries.

"I don't care," Jess says. "I don't care, how could you do this? You didn't even _tell_ us! If you'd--"

Her throat closes up, and she clenches her fists hard enough to feel blood welling up and dripping down the side of her hand.

"I thought you were smarter than this," she says, and she's talking to everyone, but she's looking at Ashley.

"Well," Ashley says. "I guess you don't know me."

"Oh, fuck off," Jess says. "We're so far past that now. Of course I know you. I know all of you, and you all know me, so why? Why would you do this?"

"No one left behind," Mike says, and then Wolfie does turn to him, and Jess notices the way Ashley and Matt both look anywhere but Mike.

"I'm going home," Jess says, because she can't take this, any more lies, any more secrets, anything that tears them apart as a group. Maybe they're their own thing now, and Emily and Sam and Jess are fine, but Ash--

God, she'd thought they were on the same wavelength.

Ashley surprises her for the second time today by climbing into the passenger seat, waving goodbye at Matt and Mike and Wolfie, and Jess doesn't have the heart to kick her out, much as she might want to.

"We should talk," Ashley says.

"About the way you've been ignoring us so you can make stupid plans?" Jess says with a little more ice than is strictly necessary, pulling out of the driveway as quickly as she can without hitting something.

"No," Ashley says. "Or. Uh. Sort of. That's not why I've been ignoring you guys."

"Then why?" Jess asks, and she's not crying, but she could, she can feel it, the way one wrong word is going to push her past her limit. She should get as far as she can on this drive before she's forced to pull over, then. 

"Chris," Ashley says.

"You know, I didn't get the impression you missed him much," Jess says, just to be mean, but it doesn't feel like a lie. "What about Chris?"

"You're right," Ashley mumbles. "But that's not all we need to talk about."

"Do you mean there's some other issue you have with me?" Jess says. "Because you know what, I've got some things to say."

"No, I mean that _we_ need to talk about," Ashley says.

"Oh," Jess says.

They're coming up to a fork, now. If she turns left, Jess can drop off Ashley at her house and probably never have a conversation with her again that isn't at least a little angry. Or she could turn right, to Emily's, and risk everything blowing up in their faces, or end up happier than she thought possible as soon as something unnatural grabbed her by the head and dragged her down.

"Okay," she says, and turns right.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daughters of Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE WAIT HERE WE GO. it's exactly a year since the first chapter if you consider 2020 was a leap year <3

"So," Emily says. "Ash and Jess are gonna come here."

"What?" Sam asks, trying to drag herself out of the comfortably fuzzy haze of her nap, to limited success. "When?"

"Like, now, babe," Emily says with a little grin, probably softer than she thinks it looks. Sam finds herself smiling back without really thinking about it. Emily ducks her head and looks back at her phone, like she tends to when things get emotional when she's not expecting it. "You should probably get up."

"Fuck, okay," Sam says, shaking her head to try and clear the cobwebs. "Did I forget about a movie night or something?"

"It's like 2pm," Emily says dismissively. "No, Ashley just says we need to talk."

Her tone is disinterested, almost cold, but her grip around her phone is white-knuckled, and Sam knows Emily pretty goddamn well at this point. 

"Whatever happens, you've got me," Sam says quietly.

"Do I?" Emily says with a roll of her eyes. 

"Yeah," Sam says.

"Okay," Emily says, tone still vaguely irritated, but when Sam turns away to look at her hair in the mirror, she feels Emily hug her from behind, press a kiss at the base of her spine. "Love you," she says, and then completely freezes. "I mean--"

"I love you too," Sam says, heart thudding so hard in her chest that Emily can probably feel it.

"Good," Emily says, voice wavering a little, and presses another kiss to Sam's back.

"We are gonna have some issues if you're leaving lipstick on this shirt, though," Sam says.

"You love it," Emily says. Sam can feel the curve of her smile. 

* * *

"So," Jess says. "You sure?"

Ashley nods. She's still freaking out, kind of, at the idea of telling Sam and Jess what she'd done, who she is, but Emily's gonna be there, and that's...comforting? Kind of? Which is fucking insane, because Emily delights in throwing this in her face, in telling her that sure, she's the ice queen, but Ashley's the real asshole, isn't she? Although she hasn't done that in awhile, at least a month, only bringing it up once when she said offhandedly that Chris probably would have thought that Mike should have shot her, and that's not mean, just...

The problem is Ashley has no fucking idea what that is or what it means. 

"Fuck," Ashley says with a little growl, and opens the car door before she can talk herself out of it. She storms to the front door, knocking. She feels angry, which is definitely not what she should be feeling right now, but fuck it. Anger's been her driving force since the mountain, what's one conversation more?

"Calm down," Jess says from behind her, and Ashley jumps. "Seriously. It'll be fine."

"You're not still pissed?" Ashley asks, hating herself for how hopeful she sounds.

"I am," Jess admits, and Ashley tries to put her walls back up as quickly as she can, but then Jess says, "But, I mean. I care about you. Even if you're making stupid decisions. You still, um. Mean a lot to me."

Ashley smiles without actually consciously meaning to. "You too, Jess."

"Good," Jess says, and knocks.

* * *

"So," Sam says. "You guys are ready to talk?"

"Uh, I already talked," Jess says, and Emily snorts. It's so Jess, to be so needlessly competitive about something good. "But yeah, Ash is talking."

Ashley looks like she's about to pass out and/or start yelling, but to be fair, she usually looks like that. Around Emily, anyway. Which--isn't good, probably, given the conversation they're about to have. Emily looks away from her, at Jess, who's smiling at her, and when Emily works up the courage to look back, Ashley isn't glaring anymore, looking at her curiously.

"Yeah," Ashley says, a few moments too late to be natural. "I am."

"Good," Sam says. "Uh, I've missed you."

God. Emily loves her so fucking _much_. She's so good, kind and trusting and somehow not a naive moron about it. She takes her hand and squeezes it just because she wants to and she can.

"Gay," Jess says in a dramatic side-whisper. Emily shoves her, cheeks warm.

"Okay, I need to get this out before I change my mind," Ashley says. "Um."

"Should we go sit down?" Sam says, exchanging a glance with Jess that Emily doesn't understand. She finds she doesn't mind too much, after what they talked about earlier.

"I think so," Ashley says, trailing behind. Sam and Jess lead.

"When you say talk," Emily says. "Are you gonna date us, or break up with us, or..."

"Chris," Ashley says in a low voice, and that explains the expression. 

"Huh," Emily says. "I didn't know you had it in you." 

"Neither did I," Ashley says instead of fighting back, and Emily feels a little guilty, now.

"It'll be okay," Emily tries, though she's never been good at comfort. "I mean, probably."

"You're pretty bad at this," Ashley says, though one of the corners of her mouth is quirking up. "How does Sam deal with you?"

"Fuck off," Emily says, though she's grinning too.

* * *

"So," Ashley says. "Um. That's that."

"You killed Chris?" Sam says, voice low and horrified. Jess winces at the look on Ashley's face, would put a comforting hand on her shoulder if Sam and Emily weren't right there.

"Technically, Hannah killed him," Emily adds from next to Jess. "From what she tells us, anyway, she just didn't open the door."

"That's semantics," Jess mutters.

"Since when do you know what semantics are?" Emily asks again.

Ashley groans. "Emily, don't start being a bitch again because you're uncomfortable--"

"--don't call me that, Ash--"

"I see what you mean about those fights now," Sam says to Emily, whose cheeks go red faster than Jess thought possible.

"I just didn't want to like, trick you guys," Ashley says. "Because I do--I care about you. All of you. And I'm not...who you think I am. So if that changes your mind, it's fine, I'm not gonna push anything, and--"

Jess has been through so much with these people, and Chris had apparently tried to shoot Ash here, and honestly, it's been months of pining after basically everyone at this point, and she's not so good at talking, so it only seems natural to swing one leg over Ashley until she's basically straddling her.

Ashley stops talking all at once, and Jess thinks she can hear Sam cut off some noise she's making.

"That's a yes on the big gay relationship, right?" Jess asks.

Ashley nods.

"Good," Jess says, and leans down to kiss her.

Ashley kisses slowly, hesitantly, so different than any of the boys Jess has ever spent time with. She thinks she could do it forever. At least, until she pulls back for breath and remembers Sam and Emily. Jess knows how great she is; they deserve some of this too.

Sam's cheeks are pink and Emily's smirking but they haven't flinched away, and when Jess tilts a challenging look at Sam, Sam grins back.

"I think this'll work," Emily says, tone all too casual. Sam nods, and Ashley finally decides it's safe to put her hands on the side of Jess' hips, and Jess lets herself think that yes.

Maybe it will.


End file.
